“#Nextdoor's Operation Poutine: A Very Serious Global Strategy Meeting” 🇨🇦🍟(A fictional satire)

Nirav (President):

“Okay team, pets were a great idea. They’re lovable, profitable, and—most importantly—they don’t talk back.”

Clown (nodding enthusiastically):

“Huge win. Zero comments. Maximum engagement.”

Intern:

“So… what’s next?”

Nirav:

“I was watching the Food Network last night. There was a show on poutine. I love poutine. And then it hit me—Canada!”

Consultant:

“Canada? Because of community need?”

Nirav:

“No, because the Canadian dollar is at $1.38. Tremendous value. Very efficient generosity.”

Clown:

“International kindness arbitrage. Bold.”

Nirav:

“I want to call Mark Carney.”

Intern:

“Sir… he speaks French.”

Nirav (panicking slightly):

“That’s fine. Power up the Commodore 64. Print out some French phrases.”

Intern (typing furiously):

“Uh… we have a problem.”

Nirav:

“What now?!”

Intern:

“The dot-matrix printer is out of ink ribbon.”

Clown:

(gasps)

“We can’t go international without ink.”

Nirav:

“THIS IS A DISASTER. Okay—new plan. Donate quietly. Turn off comments. No one will ask questions.”

Everyone:

“…of course.”

Clown (whispering):

“Vive la poutine.”

#Nextdoor #Satire #CorporateComedy #Leadership #Philanthropy #PoutineLogic #Commodore64 #DotMatrixDrama #CommunityTrust #DigitalEthics #Flammlandia #niravtolia