🫢 “Everybody Freeze!” — A Fictional Scene Inside #Nextdoor HQ

Sometimes the silence from a company says more than the words they won’t say. So here’s the fictional scene I imagine happening inside Nextdoor HQ these days:

Nirav (whispering urgently to the entire staff):

“Okay team… listen closely. Nobody move—nobody post. Nobody breathe loudly. If we stay perfectly still… Niel might go away.”

Employee #1 (whispering back):

“But sir… shouldn’t we engage with shareholders? Or the community?”

Nirav:

“Shhh! If we don’t respond, he can’t tag us. This is an advanced leadership strategy.”

Employee #2:

“What about the #Netflix partnership post? Or the holiday content?”

Nirav:

“NO. Do not poke the bear. Not a single post, comment, or reaction until the ‘Niel Situation’ blows over.”

Intern Healpmee:

“Sir, he already tagged you again…”

(Entire room gasps. An elf falls off a rolling chair even though elves don’t work there.)

Nirav:

“…Everybody, remain absolutely still. Maybe he can’t see us if we don’t move.”

Meanwhile, here I am — a shareholder, a commenter, a neighbor — still waiting for an actual conversation. Silence isn’t a strategy. Hiding isn’t leadership. And ignoring your own mission doesn’t build community. I’m not disappearing. Not today. Not tomorrow. And definitely not because someone at HQ is holding still like a corporate statue.

#Nextdoor #NXDR #LeadershipMatters #Transparency #CorporateComedy #DigitalIntegrity #Accountability #CommunityTrust