’Twas the Night Before Christmas at #Nextdoor HQ

’Twas the night before Christmas at #Nextdoor HQ,

Not a comment was stirring—because comments won’t do.

The posts were all locked with the greatest of care,

In hopes that Niel soon would vanish to air.

The C-Suite lay restless in ergonomic chairs,

While visions of “engagement” danced—then disappeared.

The intern stood ready (his badge barely new),

By a humming old server from nineteen-oh-two.

Then out in the hallway arose such a clatter,

The clown dropped his seltzer—this could really matter.

The mime said nothing (as mimes always do),

But gestured “uh-oh” with a perfectly timed cue.

In walked @Nirav Tolia, eyes weary, resolve set in stone,

Clutching a mission statement… unread, overblown.

“Just one Christmas wish,” he said with a sigh,

“That Niel stops asking questions—and just passes us by.”

The Board shuffled papers, the consultants all froze,

One whispered, “What if… we just talked?” (Then was told, no.)

The intern hit refresh. The clown checked the feed.

The mime pretended silence was all anyone needs.

And then—what to their wondering eyes should appear?

Another post shared… with commentary clear.

Not angry, not vile, just persistent and calm—

A neighbor asking questions with facts, not alarm.

So back to their stations they scurried with haste,

Turning toggles to “off” with familiar distaste.

And I heard them exclaim as the night slipped from view:

“Maybe this year he’ll go… would that miracle do?”

But Christmas rolled on, as it always has done,

With neighbors still asking till truth finally won.

And whether I’m villain or voice in the fuss—

Merry Christmas to all… and engagement for us. 🎄✨

#Nextdoor #TwasTheNightBeforeChristmas #Satire #CorporateIrony# MissionVsReality #CommunityOrControl #EngagementMatters #LeadershipMatters #Accountability #NeighborVoices #DigitalTownSquare #AskHardQuestions #Transparency #HolidayHumor #FestivusEnergy #NiravTolia