🤣 Fictional “Nextdoor War Room” Dialogue (Comedy Satire) 🤣

President (slamming folder on table):
“Team, Niel Flamm posted AGAIN. And today’s topic is… trust. TRUST! The one thing we avoid by not engaging with him!”

Chief of Strategy:
“He’s calling us out for contradicting our mission again. Should we maybe… talk to him?”

President:
“ABSOLUTELY NOT! This is WAR.”

Engagement Director:
“Sir, he’s right. Saying we’re about trust while refusing to talk to him does look… bad.”

President (eyes twitching):
“ENOUGH! I know exactly what to do.”

He dramatically slams a giant red button labeled: TURN OFF ENGAGEMENT
💥 All comments have been instantly disabled across LinkedIn.

VP of Operations:
“Uh… sir? That’s literally doing the opposite of trust.”

President:
“Opposite of trust? PERFECT. If Niel can’t post, we WIN!”

Intern (nervously):
“Sir… he’ll just post ABOUT us turning off engagement.”

President:
“…Deploy the moderators. Close the blinds. Nobody breathes!”