🤣 Flammlandia Casino – Sports Book Dialogue 🤣

“The Nextdoor Engagement Shutdown Odds” Edition

Bettor (walking up to the counter):

“Hey, what’s the line today on Nextdoor keeping comments turned off on LinkedIn?”

Bet Taker (grinning):

“Oh, buddy… you picked the right table.

The President of Nextdoor is losing more hair than we can refresh the odds. Look at him over there.”

(They look over — the fictional President of Nextdoor is pacing in circles, hair falling out like confetti.)

President (fictional parody, shouting):

“WHY ARE THERE MORE POSTS?! WHO KEEPS ADDING HASHTAGS?! I CAN’T KEEP UP!”

Bet Taker:

“See what I mean? Poor guy’s one meltdown away from needing a hat sponsorship.”

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TODAY’S ODDS

2:1 — Comments stay off until lunch

9:1 — Comments stay off until the Board asks, “Why is engagement zero?”

18:1 — President loses all remaining hair before comments return

45:1 — Comments stay off through Q4

100:1 — Comments are re-enabled and they respond to Niel Flamm

500:1 — President actually reaches out to Niel instead of pressing buttons

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Bettor:

“Wow. That last one seems impossible.”

Bet Taker:

“Yep. That’s why it pays out big.

You’ve got a better chance of the President growing his hair back.”

President (pulling hair out):

“WHO TURNED COMMENTS BACK ON?!! WAIT—NO—TURN THEM OFF AGAIN!!”

Bet Taker:

“…Aaand there he goes. Odds just shifted.”