41 Days Until Cruise Time: Checked In Emotionally, Still Single Officially

Royal Caribbean has informed me that my cruise is 41 days away and online check-in is available.

Finally, a relationship moving forward.

There it is on my screen: four nights in the Western Caribbean aboard Radiance of the Seas, October 29 through November 2. A balcony cabin on Deck 9. And under “Guests,” a little circle containing my initials: NF.

Naturally Fabulous.

No Fiancée.

Negotiations Failed.

Interpret that however you like.

Last time I checked, the countdown said 50 days. Now it says 41. Nine days have passed, and I’m pleased to report that my vacation planning has progressed from staring at the reservation on my phone to staring at it on a larger screen.

That’s called taking a broader view.

The website offers two buttons: “Plan my cruise” and “Manage reservation.”

I appreciate the confidence. I’m still trying to manage what’s in my refrigerator, but apparently I’m qualified to coordinate an international maritime adventure.

At least the cabin decision is settled: a balcony on Deck 9.

This gives me a private place to drink coffee, watch the ocean, and gaze thoughtfully into the distance as if I’m contemplating something deeper than whether breakfast is still being served.

A balcony also provides the perfect setting for romance. Ocean breeze. Beautiful sunsets. Two people sharing a quiet moment.

Currently, the second person is a chair.

We’re taking things slowly.

Yes, the search for my future ex-wife continues. I’ve secured the scenery, arranged the accommodations, and selected a departure date. At this point, I feel I’ve done more than my share of the relationship planning.

Ideal candidates should enjoy travel, appreciate sarcasm, and understand that “Would you like dessert?” is a logistical question about which dessert, not whether we’re having any.

Meanwhile, I still have the transportation puzzle: a 5 a.m. flight from Charleston to Tampa through Miami, or about seven hours of driving.

The flight requires leaving home around 3:30 a.m., when the only thing I want to connect with is my pillow.

And Miami? I’m trying to get to Tampa. The airline apparently thinks I should preview the rest of Florida first.

Driving remains tempting. I get my own seat, unrestricted access to snacks, and no possibility of my suitcase deciding to spend the weekend somewhere more interesting than I do.

I haven’t made the final call yet. Fortunately, I have 41 days to revisit the same calculations and arrive at the same level of uncertainty.

As for Radiance, yes, she’s an older ship. So what? I’m increasingly fond of things with a little mileage that still know how to have a good time.

I don’t need my ship to be the newest thing afloat. I need a comfortable bed, good food, an ocean view, and a schedule where “do absolutely nothing” is a legitimate afternoon activity.

This cruise also includes Halloween, which opens up some costume possibilities.

I could go as a well-rested man.

Or someone who packed appropriately.

Or a guy whose future ex-wife actually showed up.

Some costumes require more imagination than others.

After this, there’s MSC in January and Utopia of the Seas out of Port Canaveral in April. My calendar has a healthy social life. I’m hoping to catch up with it eventually.

For now, the countdown continues. The balcony is booked. Online check-in is open.

And Royal Caribbean keeps asking me to manage my reservation when, frankly, finding someone to occupy the other balcony chair would be a much more impressive service.

Forty-one days to go. Future ex-wife applications remain open. Please include availability, snack preferences, and your position on unnecessary layovers.