NEXTDOOR NEIGHBOR FEUD
Parody Notice: This fictional satire uses exaggerated characters and dialogue for humor and commentary.
Scene
Live from Nextdoor Studios, it's America's favorite neighborhood complaint game show.
Hosted by #NiravTolia.
The only game show where everybody complains and nobody changes their mind.
Cast
Nirav Tolia – Host
Poush Ohver – Contestant
Blinky the Clown – Contestant
Marcel the Mime – Contestant
Sarah – Contestant
Tony – Contestant
Nirav: Welcome to Nextdoor Neighbor Feud!
Poush: Isn't Nextdoor a social network?
Nirav: That's adorable.
Nirav: We surveyed neighbors and asked:
"What are the biggest neighborhood emergencies that aren't actually emergencies?"
Poush: Dogs walking on my lawn while leashed.
DING!
Nirav: Number 10!
Tony: Someone parking in front of my house.
DING!
Nirav: On a public street?
Tony: That's what makes it personal.
Sarah: Landscapers using leaf blowers at 11 a.m. Saturday.
DING!
Poush: Isn't that a normal time?
Everyone: BOOOOOOO!
Blinky: My neighbor's tree leaves fell into my yard.
Nirav: Nature strikes again.
Tony: An overflowing recycling can.
DING!
Nirav: On recycling day?
Tony: You're missing the point.
Sarah: Eggs cost ten cents more.
DING!
Poush: That's a complaint?
Sarah: It became one.
Blinky: Amazon delivered my package late.
DING!
Nirav: By how much?
Blinky: Four hours.
Tony: HOA elections are rigged.
DING!
Nirav: Evidence?
Tony: Twelve paragraphs.
Sarah: A political rant.
Nirav: Which side?
Sarah: Yes.
Poush: Teens on e-bikes when they should be inside playing video games.
DING! DING! DING!
Poush: I thought adults wanted kids outside.
Tony: Not where adults can see them.
Bonus Round
Nirav: What is Nextdoor really?
Poush: A social network?
Sarah: A community platform?
BUZZZZZZ!
Blinky: A highly efficient complaint delivery system?
Nirav: Correct!
Nirav: Of course it is.
Poush: How?
Nirav: People complain together.
Narrator: And for one brief moment, the entire neighborhood was united.
By complaining about e-bikes.
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