Roasting Each Other, Showing Up for Each Other
I saw this video about friends who roast each other, and it reminded me of my fraternity brothers in Tau Epsilon Phi, Phi Chi Chapter, formerly Epsilon Lambda, at City College of New York. I pledged in Fall 1990. That means I’ve known some of these guys for more than 35 years.
We still get together on Zoom when we can, usually Tuesdays and Fridays. The calls often run about two hours, and they’re so much fun that even a 14-year-old wants to join the insanity.
And there is plenty of insanity. We roast each other about my eyebrows, our dating and marriage decisions, the questionable things we did at the fraternity house in historic Harlem, pranks, a WWE DDT episode, hairlines that have seen better days, and how fat we’ve gotten. If you can imagine it, we’ve probably said it.
But the jokes are only part of the story. When life gets tough, and someone needs help, the same guys who can roast you without mercy will make time to show up for you. That kind of friendship is built over decades—and proven when it matters.
Our creed says it best: “To Live in the Light of Friendship, to Walk in the Path of Chivalry, to Serve for the Love of Service.”
Some of us may be more dependable than others, but the brothers who stay in touch—and stay in touch with me—are the ones I know I can count on. Even if the emergency involves a goat, a bottle of baby oil, and a cord of wood.
From Tau Epsilon Phi to Ska: My Fraternity Brother Goon Is Still Making Noise
I’ve forgotten some things from college.
Classes. Professors. What I was supposed to be studying. And probably more than a few nights that are better left in the 1980s.
But I haven’t forgotten my fraternity brothers.
Back at The City College of New York, I was a member of Tau Epsilon Phi, Phi Chi Chapter. Like any respectable fraternity, we had pledge names—and some were considerably more memorable than others.
One of my fraternity brothers received the distinguished, dignified, and undoubtedly well-deserved pledge name:
Alice the Goon.
I’ve always just called him Goon.
All these years later, Goon is still making noise—except now people actually want to hear it.
He’s part of The Phensic, a ska band.
And somehow, that seems completely appropriate.
If you had asked me back during my CCNY days what someone named Alice the Goon would be doing decades later, playing in a ska band probably would have made my Top 10.
Maybe even the Top 5.
If you’re into ska, check out The Phensic. And if you’re not familiar with ska, this might be a good excuse to discover something different.
You can listen to their music here:
One thing I appreciate more as I get older is looking back at the people I knew during those college years and seeing where life took us all.
We’re older.
Hopefully, we’re wiser.
The hair situation has definitely changed for some of us. In my case, I decided hair was apparently an unnecessary luxury.
But those fraternity memories and connections are still there.
So, from one Tau Epsilon Phi, Chi Chapter brother to another:
Keep making noise, Goon.
And if you like ska—or want to hear what one of my fraternity brothers has been up to—check out The Phensic!
Citizen vs. Nextdoor: What Are People Really Looking For in a Local App?
During my semi-weekly Zoom call this evening with my Fraternity Brothers from Tau Epsilon Phi Fraternity, Phi Chi Chapter, someone mentioned the Citizen app. I had heard the name before, but I had never really looked into it. After the conversation, I did some research — and tonight I’m starting to use it.
The more I looked, the more interesting the comparison became.
Nextdoor has always positioned itself as the digital neighborhood — a place to connect with neighbors, ask for recommendations, discuss local issues, and discover businesses.
Citizen takes a different approach: real-time awareness. It focuses on what many people immediately want to know when they open a local app:
What is happening around me right now?
Is there an accident nearby? Police activity? A fire? A safety concern? An emergency alert?
Sometimes people don't want another social network. They want useful information that affects their day, commute, family, and safety.
Nextdoor has a massive opportunity because community connections and local intent are incredibly valuable. But the challenge has always been balancing conversations, commerce, moderation, and trust.
Citizen appears to have a clearer "why open the app?" moment.
I’m beginning my own Citizen experiment tonight. I’ll see how the alerts, accuracy, usability, and overall experience compare.
Stay tuned — I’ll share what I learn.