The Powerball Department Is Now Open: 120 Tickets, 12 Brothers, and the Niel Tax™
I put together a lot more than just buying 120 Powerball tickets this week.
Somewhere between spreadsheets, probability calculations, payout estimates, tax assumptions, and trying to explain to a group of fraternity brothers why $4 divided by 12 doesn't make anyone rich, I may have accidentally become the Chief Financial Officer of the Tau Epsilon Phi Lottery Department.
The easy part is collecting everyone's $20.
The hard part is answering the important questions.
“What are our odds?”
With 120 unique tickets:
Jackpot: about 1 in 2,435,012
Percentage chance: 0.0000411%
Any prize: approximately 99.27%
Chance of winning nothing: approximately 0.73%
Then came the inevitable follow-up.
“What happens if we actually win?”
Now we're talking.
Using the current estimated $856 million advertised jackpot and an estimated $372 million cash option, with 12 brothers, everyone would receive approximately:
Prize Estimated Take-Home Per Brother
Jackpot $17.67 million
$1,000,000 $47,500
$50,000 $2,375
$100 $4.75
Then I looked at the remaining prize tiers.
A $7 prize split twelve ways is...
58 cents.
A $4 prize?
33 cents.
Unfortunately, Zelle has one tiny flaw in its business model:
It won't let me send you 33 cents.
Therefore, after careful consultation with absolutely nobody, I have created what will forever be known as...
The Niel Tax™
Any prize that works out to less than $1 per participant will be retained by the Lottery Commissioner — me — as a convenience fee for:
Collecting everyone's money
Buying the tickets
Tracking the numbers
Calculating the odds
Estimating federal and South Carolina taxes
Explaining for the fifteenth time that “1 in 2.4 million” is actually pretty good compared to one ticket
And, perhaps most importantly, avoiding the embarrassment of sending eleven separate Zelle payments for 33 cents
Think of it as an administrative processing fee.
Or a beverage fund.
Or reimbursement for the gas it takes to drive to Harris Teeter while getting strange looks from the cashier after buying what appears to be enough lottery tickets to finance a small nation.
If we win the jackpot, I promise to waive the Niel Tax.
If we win $4...
Well...
Congratulations.
I just earned another Coke Zero.
Good luck, Lotto Dudes.
Somebody has to win.
$856 Million, Lucky 8s, and My Fraternity Lottery Dictatorship
The Powerball jackpot has climbed to $856 million, with the next drawing on Saturday, August 8, 2026 (8/8/26).
Now, I think the number 8 is considered lucky in Mandarin. I'm not entirely sure. I speak approximately three words of Mandarin, and two of them are probably pronounced wrong.
Still... 8/8? I'll take all the luck I can get.
I've also made an executive decision for the fraternity lottery pool. We've doubled the buy-in from $10 to $20 per person, which means twice the tickets and slightly better odds of one of us becoming completely unemployable.
To keep everyone informed, I've been posting the ever-changing odds in our Discord channel based on how many brothers are playing. It's educational. It's transparent. It's probably the most math some of us have done since college.
There has been one other policy change.
After weeks of organizing the pool, collecting money, driving to Harris Teeter, buying tickets, photographing them, and sending updates, one particularly ungrateful fraternity brother has been permanently promoted to... former participant.
Congratulations!
Your lottery odds with my pool are now exactly 0.000000%.
It's amazing how quickly the Fraternity Lottery Commissioner can become the Fraternity Lottery Dictator.
Long live the Commissioner.
Good luck to everyone else. If we win $856 million, drinks are on me.
Well... probably not. That's how people stay rich.
Join the fun on NielFlamm.com/blog.
The Lotto Dudes Hit the Jackpot... Of Absolutely Nothing 😂🎰
Well...
Nobody won the $663 million Powerball jackpot.
Which means the jackpot has now climbed to $707 million for the next drawing.
That's the good news.
The bad news?
Neither did the Lotto Dudes.
Our fraternity pool bought 50 Powerball tickets with a $100 buy-in.
The result?
🥁🥁🥁
$0.00
Not a dollar.
Not a free ticket.
Not enough to buy a stale stick of gum.
Nothing.
Our return on investment was surprisingly easy to calculate.
-$100.
Or...
-100% ROI.
I believe that's what financial experts call "less than ideal."
The amazing part?
I'm already organizing the next pool.
I've sent the message to the guys:
$10 buy-in.
Same process.
Same optimism.
Same statistically questionable decision-making.
Why?
Because someone has to win.
We just proved it with the Mega Millions jackpot. Somebody walked away with hundreds of millions of dollars.
No rule says it can't be a bunch of fraternity guys arguing over who forgot to Zelle their ten bucks.
I've also decided to hedge my bets.
In addition to the fraternity pool, I'm buying my own ticket.
That's right.
I'm diversifying my lottery portfolio.
Some people hedge with stocks.
Some hedge with bonds.
I hedge with... more lottery tickets.
Financial advisors everywhere are reading this and quietly removing my phone number from their contacts.
Will this strategy work?
Probably not.
Will it make checking the numbers more exciting?
Absolutely.
If nothing else, I'll have plenty of material for the next blog post explaining how I expertly turned another hundred dollars into a life lesson.
Until then...
Good luck to everyone playing.
Maybe the $707 million Powerball jackpot will finally belong to one of the Lotto Dudes.
A guy can dream.
Join the adventure on NielFlamm.com/blog.
The Lotto Dudes Are Back... Because Apparently We Like Losing Money 😂🎰
Well...
Someone in Florida won the $800 million Mega Millions jackpot last night.
It wasn't me.
I know.
Shocking.
I didn't suddenly develop the ability to teleport across state lines, nor did I secretly buy a ticket in Florida. So congratulations to whoever now has to hire accountants, lawyers, and a therapist to explain why their third cousin they've never met suddenly wants to "catch up."
As for the Lotto Dudes...
We won...
🥁🥁🥁
$34.
Good money after bad.
It's okay. We consider it a dividend.
So what did we do?
The obvious thing.
We're doing it again.
This time we've got 10 fraternity brothers throwing in $10 each.
Using advanced mathematics, that equals...
$100.
With that, we're buying 50 Powerball tickets for a shot at the $663 million jackpot.
The estimated cash value is $290.4 million.
Split ten ways...
That's just over $29 million each.
Not billionaire money...
...but definitely enough money for ten fraternity brothers who still act like the cast of Old School.
I can already picture it.
Frank "The Tank" would somehow convince us that jumping off the roof into a kiddie pool is a sound financial decision.
Someone would suggest bringing back streaking because, "We're rich now. What are they going to do, fine us?"
Blue would somehow become our financial advisor because, despite being asleep half the movie, he was probably making the most sense.
And there would absolutely be one brother trying to start a fraternity chapter in a retirement community because "the dues are tax deductible."
Meanwhile, I'd be the responsible one...
...right up until I bought a Corvette, a beach house, a lifetime supply of Costco snacks, and a golf cart just to drive from the mailbox back to the front door.
The odds are terrible.
The investment strategy is questionable.
The entertainment value?
Absolutely priceless.
Good luck to all the Lotto Dudes.
Maybe this time we'll be writing about how we turned $100 into $290.4 million...
...instead of another blog post explaining why our ROI belongs in a museum.
The Lotto Dudes Return: A Masterclass in Financial Mismanagement 😂💸
The Lotto Dudes are back.
Mostly because apparently none of us learned our lesson.
Let's review our recent investment history.
Round 1
The pool had a $200 buy-in covering both Mega Millions and Powerball.
We won...
🥁🥁🥁
$40.
That works out to about $4 per guy.
That's an 80% loss on our investment.
Most people would have taken the $4, bought a cup of coffee, and reflected on their life choices.
Not us.
We're visionaries.
Round 2
We rolled the entire $40 into Powerball.
The results?
We won...
$12.
Which means we somehow managed to lose another $28, a 70% loss on the rollover.
If you look at the whole adventure...
We turned $200 into $12.
That's a grand total return of...
-94%.
If this were a mutual fund, the SEC would politely ask us to stop.
If it were a hedge fund, CNBC would interview us just to ask, "How?"
If it were cryptocurrency, someone would still call it "a buying opportunity."
The best part?
Nobody has won the jackpots yet.
So naturally...
WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN.
Current jackpots:
💰 Mega Millions (Tuesday): $800 million
💰 Powerball (Monday): $663 million
Because clearly the definition of insanity is buying lottery tickets and expecting... well... actually, somebody has to win eventually.
The buy-in is $20.
Now here's where it gets funny.
Every lottery pool has them.
The guys who suddenly become lottery experts.
"You should buy more Quick Picks."
"No, all birthdays."
"Only odd numbers."
"Only even numbers."
"Buy them at this store."
"Don't buy them at that store."
"Get the ticket at 9:17 p.m. because Mercury is in retrograde."
Meanwhile...
When it's time to collect the money...
🦗🦗🦗
When it's time to drive to the store...
🦗🦗🦗
When it's time to organize the tickets...
🦗🦗🦗
Everyone wants to be CEO.
Nobody wants to be Operations.
Well...
I've put my only foot down.
If I'm running the pool, I'm running the pool.
You can absolutely offer suggestions...
...right after you volunteer to collect everyone's money, chase down the guys who forgot to pay, buy the tickets, scan the winners, keep the records, and explain to twelve grown men why their share of the winnings is approximately enough to buy a value-menu cheeseburger.
Until then...
Sit back.
Relax.
Trust the process.
It's only failed spectacularly every single drawing.
Good luck to all the Lotto Dudes!
One of these days we're going to hit it big...
...or we'll be writing another blog post about turning $200 into enough money to split a family-size bag of chips.