I Asked A Silly Question. I Won A Silly Prize.

In my previous post, I questioned the transparency of a Nextdoor survey and joked:

"Has nobody at Nextdoor watched John King on CNN election night?"

After thinking about it, that was a silly question.

The answer is obviously no.

If anyone from the top down — including CEO Nirav Tolia — spent much time watching John King drill into data, methodology, assumptions, and details behind the numbers, perhaps we'd see more transparency in areas like moderation, appeals, and internally published survey results.

Then I started thinking about other groundbreaking studies Nextdoor could publish without providing full methodology:

🏆 The Lawn Blade Encroachment Survey
How many inches onto a neighbor's property can grass grow before it becomes an international incident?

📦 The Missing Amazon Package Emotional Impact Index
After receiving a delivery notification, how long should a neighbor wait before accusing porch pirates, nearby residents, and organized crime?

🍂 The Neighborhood Leaf Migration & Border Security Report
Who owns leaf cleanup responsibilities after leaves illegally cross property lines?

🚲 The Emergency E-Bike Teen Threat Assessment
Which represents the greater threat to civilization: teenagers riding e-bikes or teenagers staying indoors staring at screens?

🐕 The Official Barkonomics Report
At what decibel level and dog count do connected neighbors formally declare war on one another?

Maybe the results would be fascinating.

Just don't ask for the sample size, methodology, demographics, margin of error, weighting, response rates, or full questionnaire.

Those details might get lost somewhere

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