When Did You Stop Caring? The Little Things Are the Big Things
Over the past few days, I’ve been getting food to go for Mom and me while she’s been at Novant Health (formerly East Cooper Medical Center).
Why?
Because hospital food is… well… hospital food. 😬
I used to tell my parents this when they visited me during my hospital stays in 2023 and 2024. Now Mom understands.
My brothers and I have been bringing her things she actually wants to eat — breakfast, sushi, snacks, seltzer, and anything that makes a hospital stay a little more comfortable.
I’m a big believer in ordering ahead. Use the app, time the drive, walk in, grab the order, and get back.
I’m also a believer in tipping.
Food service and hospitality workers work hard. They deal with people all day. Many are underpaid. If the service is great — tip. If the service is average, I still tip.
But tipping before receiving the service? I’m starting to rethink that.
Here’s why.
Thursday 7/2/26 — Big Bad Breakfast, Mount Pleasant
I ordered Mom an omelet and pancakes for myself. I picked it up, asked the person handing me the bag:
“Are utensils in the bag?”
Answer: “Yes.”
I get back to the hospital.
No utensils.
I start searching the hospital, trying to find some. Mom is so hungry that she eats part of the omelet by hand.
Yes — I should have checked. That’s on me.
But I also specifically asked.
Tip: $4.84
I emailed the restaurant’s general manager.
No response.
Today, July 4th — Chipotle Mexican Grill
I ordered two Sofritas bowls. Mom has never had Chipotle Mexican Grill, and I thought the Sofritas would be easier for her to eat.
I ordered ingredients on the side and labeled the bowls so we’d know whose was whose.
I arrive at the hospital:
• Lids weren’t secure, causing spills
• Bowls weren’t labeled
• Black beans were missing
Tip: $3.14
I tried contacting Chipotle Mexican Grill support and met “Pepper,” the chatbot wall that didn’t solve the issue.
So what did I do?
I disputed the tip amounts.
Not the food.
The tips.
Because tipping is supposed to recognize service.
The dollar amount isn’t the point.
The principle is.
I tolerate what I allow — and I’m not allowing this.
Small details matter.
A fork matters when someone is sitting in a hospital room hungry.
A secured lid matters.
Checking an order matters.
Follow-through matters.
So I’ll ask the question from Natalie Beckerman’s best sellerbook:
“When Did You Stop Caring?”
Chipotle?
Because the little things tell customers everything.
Join the discussion on NielFlamm.com
Three Books Every Leader Should Keep Within Reach
There are three books that I believe every leader, coach, mentor, and Learning & Development professional should have available at a moment’s notice.
📘 Good to Great by Jim Collins taught me that greatness isn’t accidental. It’s built through disciplined people, disciplined thought, and disciplined action. It has been a cornerstone in how I think about leadership and organizational excellence.
📙 The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell changed the way I think about ideas, influence, and how small actions can create extraordinary change. I had the opportunity to hear Malcolm deliver a keynote years ago at what was then ASTD (now ATD), and his insights have stayed with me ever since.
Over the years, I’ve encouraged many of my team members to read both books as part of my coaching and mentoring. They generate great conversations about leadership, culture, and personal growth.
Now, I’m adding a third book to that list.
📕 When Did You Stop Caring? by Natalie Beckerman.
I’m just getting into it, but one thing already stands out: leadership isn’t just about strategy, metrics, or results. It’s about people. It’s about choosing to care, even when it’s difficult. That message resonates deeply with me.
When I have the opportunity to lead, coach, and mentor teams again, I plan to give each leader these three books. And if I can get a signed copy of Natalie’s book, even better.
The best leaders never stop learning.
And they never stop caring.
When Did You Stop Caring? The Power of a Movement
My copy of When Did You Stop Caring? by Natalie Beckerman arrived, and after starting to dig in, all I can say is: wow.
I’ve also been watching some of Natalie’s promotional shorts, and one word keeps standing out to me: movement.
Movements have the power to change people, communities, and sometimes even humanity itself.
Think about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. The goal wasn’t getting drenched with a bucket of ice water. The goal was awareness, conversation, and funding research to help stop ALS from devastating more lives.
Think about the Jesus Movement and the impact it had on countless people seeking purpose, faith, and connection.
Think about Pay It Forward. While fictional, the story showed how one person’s actions could inspire others and create a ripple effect of kindness and generosity.
What all of these examples have in common is simple: they started with people who cared enough to act.
Real change doesn’t happen overnight. Habits are built over time. Momentum is built over time. Success is built over time.
That’s something I remind myself of often. I keep pushing. I keep putting one foot in front of the other. I keep looking for opportunities to score a win, no matter how small.
If Natalie’s message inspires even a fraction of that mindset, then it’s a conversation worth having.
If you haven’t picked up a copy yet, you’re missing out.
📚 Amazon: https://a.co/d/0e252vBz
📚 Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-did-you-stop-caring-natalie-beckerman/1150028729?ean=9781969508448
Available now in hardcover, paperback, and digital formats.
The question isn’t whether we can change the world overnight.
The question is: What can we do today to show that we still care?