I’ve mentioned before that I lead and facilitate a fraternity chapter lottery pool. We’ve played both Powerball and Mega Millions, with buy-ins usually around $20. Someone won the Powerball last week. I’ve been collecting money and buying Mega Millions tickets, where a $10 buy-in gets two tickets at $5 each. I coordinate the pool through a Discord server.
I’ve also mentioned that things have become strained with one Brother. We used to be great friends. Sometimes friendships change, and it’s sad when they do.
Back when I used Discord more often, I posted a lot—especially during dialysis. When you’re sitting in a chair for nearly four hours, you find ways to fill the time. Some of what I posted was offensive. This Brother, who has admin rights on the server but didn’t create it, would put me in timeout. Sometimes for longer than other times.
I felt censored. What I’ve had trouble understanding is that this came from someone who has expressed disdain for police and other government authorities. I don’t get the contradiction.
Last week, I’d had enough. I was posting updates about who had paid into the pool when he made a comment that didn’t sit right with me. I took it as another sign that he believed he knew better than everyone else.
So I blocked him on Discord. I’d already blocked him on my phone so I wouldn’t get his calls or texts. Then I blocked his Zelle transactions, so he can’t send money to my account, and I won’t accept payments from him.
You might call that petty, childish, unnecessary—or choose another word. I find it relaxing and freeing. I don’t have to engage with behavior I don’t want in my life. I can see when a message is blocked and decide whether to read it. Most of the time, I leave it blocked. I’ve blocked another Brother, too.
There’s less interest in the lottery pool now. It is what it is.
I’m not writing this because blocking someone fixes a friendship or makes every conflict simple. It doesn’t. For me, it creates some distance and peace. Sometimes that’s enough.
