Thailand Update: Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin Responded—Now I Need a Date

Well, that was fast.

After writing about my plans to potentially spend about 30 days in Hua Hin, Thailand, I emailed the Hua Hin location of Bangkok Hospital to ask what I would need to do to continue my hemodialysis treatments while I'm there.

I expected to wait.

Instead, it took only a few hours for Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin to respond.

They sent me a detailed list of the medical records, dialysis information, and laboratory results they want me to provide before arriving in Thailand.

Suddenly, this little Thailand experiment feels considerably more real.

What Bangkok Hospital Needs From Me

The hospital wants my current hemodialysis prescription, including information such as my dialyzer, dialysate settings, blood-flow and dialysate-flow rates, dry weight, treatment duration and temperature, vascular access and anticoagulant. The prescription needs to be from within three months of my dialysis appointment in Hua Hin.

They also want my recent dialysis information, including any complications I've experienced during treatment, my blood pressure before and after dialysis, and medications administered during or after treatment, such as IV iron or erythropoietin.

Then come the labs.

They require recent testing for HBsAg, hepatitis C antibodies, hepatitis B antibodies, hepatitis B core antibody IgG, and HIV. Most of those results need to be from within six months, while the HIV result can be from within one year.

They noted that if I arrive without the required information, they may need to repeat blood testing before my first dialysis treatment—and there would be an additional charge.

They also want a list of optional information, including my medical history, recent dialysis treatment information, medication list, and additional lab results such as CBC, BUN, creatinine, electrolytes, calcium, phosphorus, and other tests.

It looks like a lot on paper.

Fortunately, I shouldn't have to assemble all of this by myself.

I Talked to My Dialysis Provider

Most Mondays, either my nephrologist or his Physician Assistant checks in with patients at the dialysis center.

Today, I told him what I'm planning.

I think he was a little surprised when I told him where I was thinking about going—and that I was considering staying for about a month.

Thailand wasn't exactly the answer he was expecting.

I showed him the information Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin requested. He told me that my dialysis clinic should be able to obtain most, if not all, of it.

That's a pretty big hurdle potentially taken care of.

And that's exactly why I contacted the hospital before booking a trip. A beachfront condo with an ocean view sounds wonderful, but none of that matters if I can't safely continue dialysis three times a week.

The Pieces Are Coming Together

In a relatively short time, I've gone from thinking about Thailand to working through the logistics.

I've connected with an expat who may be able to help me find a furnished beachfront condo, work through the visa process, arrange transportation from Bangkok to Hua Hin, find temporary accommodations while I get settled, and potentially help arrange a caretaker for Mom.

Now I've heard directly from Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin about what they need for my dialysis.

My dialysis provider believes they can supply the medical information.

So what's the next major item on the Thailand checklist?

I need to pick a date.

That's where I am now.

No plane ticket yet. No condo lease yet. I'm not packing a suitcase tomorrow.

But each question I answer removes another reason this couldn't work.

A few days ago, dialysis in Thailand was one of the biggest unknowns.

Today, I have a list.

And apparently, my dialysis clinic has most of what's on it.

Now I just need to figure out when I'm going to Hua Hin.

The Hinge Experiment: No Matches. Maybe It’s Time to Delete the App?

Well, here we are again.

I opened Hinge, went to my matches, and was greeted by the same incredibly encouraging message:

“No matches right now.”

Thank you, Hinge.

I worried there might be a secret match hiding somewhere. Maybe someone had been trying desperately to reach me, but the app had misplaced her.

Nope.

Still nobody.

Since my last round of matches—Kelli, Missing Gina and Me—there have been no new matches.

Zero.

The Hinge Experiment has become less of a dating experiment and more of a controlled scientific study examining how long a bald man can stare at an empty screen before deleting an app.

At Least Somebody Is Interested in Me

There is some good news.

While my Hinge traffic is approximately equal to that of an abandoned shopping mall...

the traffic to NielFlamm.com is up substantially.

Apparently, people are much more interested in reading about me trying to date than actually dating me.

I'm not sure whether to celebrate or seek professional marketing advice.

On Hinge:

No matches right now.

On NielFlamm.com:

Come on in!

Maybe I've discovered my true calling.

Not dating.

Writing about the complete absence of dating.

At least one of those appears to have an audience.

Hinge Has a Solution, Naturally

The screenshot makes me laugh because immediately underneath “No matches right now,” Hinge offers two helpful possibilities:

Boost your profile.

Or...

Upgrade to HingeX.

Ahhhhh.

The problem may be solvable with a credit card.

I see.

Nothing says romance quite like:

“Congratulations! Nobody wants to talk to you. Would you like to purchase additional features?”

I'm not convinced.

I'm not desperate to meet someone, and I'm definitely not interested in spending money to make my dating life look more active than it is.

It would be nice to meet someone.

That's still true.

But if it doesn't happen on Hinge, it doesn't happen on Hinge.

Maybe It’s Time to End the Experiment

I'm starting to seriously wonder whether I've gotten everything I'm going to get from this app.

I started with Tinder.

That became an experiment.

Then I moved to Hinge.

That became another experiment.

There were matches.

There were messages.

There were “good mornings.”

There were unanswered questions.

There were almost-dates.

There were phone numbers offered.

There was silence.

There were unmatches.

And now we've arrived at the grand finale:

An empty queue.

Maybe Hinge really is “designed to be deleted.”

Just perhaps not for the reason I originally hoped.

Then There’s Thailand...

Another wrinkle in this story.

I've been exploring the possibility of eventually spending part of my life in Thailand, and I've had people tell me something interesting:

My dating prospects may look very different there.

We'll see.

I'm certainly not booking an international flight because somebody promised me a better dating pool.

I'm interested in Thailand for reasons much bigger than dating. If that chapter happens, it will involve figuring out where and how I want to live, healthcare, dialysis, cost of living, culture, food, and whether I can build a life there that I actually enjoy.

But apparently, I've been told that being me may not be quite the dating catastrophe that my current Hinge screen would suggest.

Let's review the merchandise:

Bald?

Yep.

One leg?

Definitely.

ESRD?

Check.

Eyes that have required enough work to qualify for their own frequent-patient program?

Also check.

And yet I've been told:

“You'll do fine in Thailand.”

Well, that's quite the sales pitch.

I don't know whether that's actually true, and I'm certainly not assuming women in another country are going to react to me in any particular way.

They're individuals, not a demographic dating guarantee.

But I admit...

I'm curious.

Maybe the Problem Isn’t Something That Needs Fixing

That's probably the biggest takeaway from this experiment.

I'm not interested in reinventing myself to generate matches.

I have a complicated life.

I have scars.

I have medical realities.

I have recovery.

I have boundaries.

I have one leg.

I have no hair.

I have questionable eyesight.

I tend to write about things on the internet that most sane people would probably keep private.

And somehow I've also acquired an imaginary iguana named Steve.

This is the package.

I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

That's okay.

I'm not looking for everyone.

I'd eventually like to find one woman where the interest, effort, attraction, humor, and conversation go both ways.

If that happens in South Carolina, wonderful.

If someday it happens in Thailand, wonderful.

If it happens somewhere completely unexpected, even better.

And if it takes a while?

I have a life to live in the meantime.

So, Is Hinge Getting Deleted?

I haven't decided yet.

But for the first time since starting this experiment, I'm seriously considering it.

The current standings are difficult to misinterpret:

Matches: 0.

Conversations: 0.

Dates: 0.

NielFlamm.com traffic: UP.

Maybe that's the universe telling me something.

Or maybe it's just an algorithm telling me to buy HingeX.

Either way, I'm listening.

And Steve?

Don't start packing for Thailand yet. 🦎

The Algorithm Thinks I Need a Beach. I Agree.

The algorithm must know what I need: a beach, a little luxury, and a dollar that stretches farther than I do.

Lately, I’ve been looking into leaving the United States and living abroad. The Philippines, which I already love, keeps popping up alongside Vietnam and Thailand—two places I haven’t visited yet.

Now, I’m not looking to become a beach survivalist. I want the nice things: reliable internet, modern conveniences, and, most importantly, good healthcare. Dialysis has to fit into this dream. It’s nonnegotiable, even with an ocean view.

According to my very enthusiastic travel adviser, The Google, Thailand deserves a closer look. Hua Hin has caught my attention with listings for luxury one-bedroom condos around $1,000 a month, complete with security and amenities. My searches also suggest potentially manageable residency options and out-of-pocket dialysis costs. All things I’ll need to verify before packing my flip-flops.

And can ride-share apps handle my transportation? Goodbye car payment, insurance, maintenance, and whatever that noise under the hood is.

I want to spend however much time I have left enjoying my life. Preferably somewhere the ocean is close and my money lasts longer.

To my Vietnamese readers: reach out! Where should I look, and what should I know? The algorithm has opinions. I’d love yours.