After Dialysis, Assisted Living Tours and Complaints: I Need the Ocean and Bacon

Today was one of those days when my internal battery was already flashing red before I walked through the door.

After dialysis, I toured The Palms, an assisted living facility I'm considering for Mom.

Today's dialysis was a little more difficult than Monday's. By the time everything was finished, I didn't even make it to my recovery meeting.

Instead, I had another mission:

Deliver Mom's dinner.

Ham, grits, and peas.

Gross.

I'm sure someone loves that combination. That someone is not me.

So, after dialysis and touring The Palms, I headed over to the skilled nursing facility with Mom's meal.

And then the complaining began.

Apparently, Everything Is Terrible

It was nonstop.

The food.

Physical therapy.

Nursing.

This.

That.

Something else.

At times, Mom was saying things that, from my perspective, didn't line up with what had actually happened. I've experienced that before with both of my parents, and today I didn't have much energy left to sort through what was accurate, what was frustration, and what might have been something else entirely.

I could feel myself reaching my limit.

That's when H.A.L.T. popped into my head.

Hungry.

Angry.

Lonely.

Tired.

I was feeling three out of the four.

I'll let everyone guess which three.

Actually, don't think about it too hard.

The important part was recognizing what was happening before I allowed myself to get dragged into an argument that wasn't going to accomplish anything.

See You Tomorrow

I finally told Mom I was going to leave and that I'd see her tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I'm touring another assisted living facility.

Her response?

“Don't come.”

My response?

“See you tomorrow.”

At this point, it felt less like a discussion and more like defiance.

Ugh.

Yesterday, I wrote about needing to establish boundaries. Today was another opportunity, actually, to practice one.

I didn't argue.

I didn't address every complaint.

I didn't stay there until I was completely exhausted and angry.

I left.

Sometimes that's the healthiest option available.

I'm Still Doing the Work

The frustrating part is that behind all these conversations, I'm still trying to do what Mom has said she wants.

She wants assisted living.

So I'm touring assisted living facilities.

I'm looking at rooms.

I'm learning about services.

I'm figuring out costs.

I'm asking questions.

I'm trying to imagine what her life might look like in each place.

Then I walk into the skilled nursing facility and hear complaint after complaint about the place she's currently living.

I understand that she's frustrated. She's been through a lot.

But I've been through a few things myself.

Today alone started with dialysis, moved into an assisted living tour, and ended with me delivering ham, grits, and peas while listening to a review of practically every department in the building.

Eventually, the tank is empty.

Mine was empty.

So I went home.

Tomorrow, I'll get up and do it again.

Another facility.

Another tour.

Another visit with Mom, regardless of today's “don't come.”

And hopefully another reminder to myself that I don't have to solve everything in one day.

I Need the Ocean and Bacon

Fortunately, I have something waiting for me at the end of October.

I'm going on a cruise.

And after the last few weeks, I think I've identified exactly what I need:

The ocean and bacon.

Lots of ocean.

An unreasonable amount of bacon.

Maybe I'll sit somewhere, looking out over the water, holding a plate stacked with bacon and doing absolutely nothing for anyone.

No assisted living tours.

No skilled nursing complaints.

No ham, grits, and peas.

No problem-solving.

Just me, the ocean, and enough breakfast meat to concern a cardiologist.

But first, tomorrow.

Another assisted living facility.

Another visit with Mom.

Because even when she says, “Don't come,” sometimes I know what she really needs is for me to keep showing up.

So...

See you tomorrow, Mom.

✈️ I Made It to New York—and What Happened to LaGuardia?!

I made it!

After days of watching the weather forecast go from 55% rain to 77% rain with thunderstorms and then back to almost nothing, I got on the plane in Charleston this morning and headed to New York.

It has been a very, very long time since I've flown into LaGuardia Airport, and I have one question:

What did they do with the old LGA?!?

Seriously.

The LaGuardia I remember and the LaGuardia I walked through today seem like two completely different airports.

It's new. It's clean. It's bright.

There are food options everywhere.

People aren't sitting on the floor waiting for their flights because there aren't enough seats.

And, perhaps most importantly...

I didn't see any rats running around in the drop ceiling.

If you flew through the old LaGuardia, you know I'm not necessarily exaggerating. 😂

This place has changed.

🗽 Now THAT'S a New York Welcome

As we descended into LaGuardia, I was also able to catch a picture of Lower Manhattan from the plane.

That's one of those views that immediately tells you:

Yep. I'm back in New York.

There's something about seeing Manhattan from the air that never gets old.

Then it was time to start working through today's agenda.

👻 Paranormal Activity Didn't Happen

I had hoped to score one of the same-day Rush Tickets for Paranormal Activity.

That didn't happen.

And I'm still not paying around $200 for a ticket.

I wanted to see some ghosts, but not badly enough to have one haunt my credit-card statement for the next month.

But Broadway isn't completely off the agenda.

I got a ticket to see & Juliet instead!

So tonight I'll be heading to Broadway after the party to see something I hadn't originally planned on seeing.

Sometimes those spontaneous choices end up being the most fun.

I'll post afterward and let you know what I thought of it.

🥓 Hotel Accomplishment Unlocked

Next challenge: Could I check into the hotel early?

YES.

That might actually be today's biggest victory.

I got into my room, dropped everything off, and then took care of another extremely important New York travel priority.

I grabbed a plate of bacon.

Because obviously.

So let's review:

✈️ Made it to New York.

🗽 Saw Lower Manhattan from the air.

😳 Discovered that LaGuardia apparently became a completely different airport while I wasn't looking.

🏨 Got an early hotel check-in.

🥓 Ate bacon.

👻 Failed to get a Paranormal Activity Rush Ticket.

🎭 Got an & Juliet ticket instead.

🎉 Party starts at 1:00 PM.

I'd say we're doing pretty well.

And now, after I hit publish on this...

I'm taking a nap for a few hours before the party.

Because apparently my New York itinerary also includes scheduled unconsciousness.

Stay tuned. There is still a lot of Saturday left.