Guess Who Didn't Win Mega Millions? 😂💰

Me.

And... unless you're reading this from your private island, probably you too.

How do I know?

Because nobody won the Mega Millions jackpot, it has now climbed to $672 million.

That means tonight's Powerball jackpot of $498 million pushes the combined jackpots to shy of $1.2 BILLION.

I’m seeing a lot of commas.

And for just $2, you can buy a Powerball ticket and spend the next 24 hours mentally redesigning your life.

I've already got a rough plan.

I'd take care of my family.

I'd invest in the communities and causes that mean something to me.

I'd help out my friends. (If you aren't one now... applications after the drawing will not be accepted. 😄)

Then I'd pick up a sweet ride, buy a home on the beach, and maybe even find a future ex-wife to enjoy it all with.

Hey, at least I'm planning.

Will I win?

The odds say no.

Will I spend two bucks to dream for a day?

Absolutely.

Sometimes $2 isn't about buying a lottery ticket. It's about buying permission to imagine what's possible.

Good luck tonight—and if one of us wins, remember who reminded you.

I Didn’t Win… And You Didn’t Either (Probably) 💰🎰

I didn’t win the lottery.

And guess what? You didn’t either.

How do I know? Because this weekend’s lotto jackpots are still sitting at over $1 BILLION combined.

That’s right, billion with a B. Enough money to put me in a tax bracket where I’d suddenly need a team of accountants explaining tax-friendly countries.

Just kidding, IRS.

Sorta. 👀

Tonight’s Mega Millions jackpot is $604 million, and Saturday’s Powerball jackpot is $457 million.

When — not if — I win, I already have a few plans.

First stop? Camino Real Chevrolet because of the Camino Gals. A Z06 Corvette will do just fine. Yes, there is a ZR1, but even imaginary billionaire Niel still likes a good deal. Some habits don’t change.

Then maybe a house on the beach, because waking up to the ocean sounds slightly better than checking emails.

After that? Helping communities and causes I care about.

At some point, how much money does one person need to stack away just because? There’s a difference between living comfortably and hoarding a mountain of cash you could never possibly spend.

That being said, if the winning numbers hit… no, I am not suddenly available to an eighth-removed cousin from my ex-wife’s side of the family. Also, please don’t invite me into your “once-in-a-lifetime business opportunity” that suspiciously feels like Devil Corp wearing a fancy suit.

Dream big. Have fun.

After all…

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.