Touring The Palms: Nice Grounds, Friendly People, and Unfortunately, Peas

After dialysis today, I toured The Palms as I continue looking at assisted living options for Mom.

Dialysis followed by a facility tour makes for a full day, but I’m learning something useful at each stop. Seeing these places in person gives me a better sense of what daily life might look like for her—and what the differences are beyond the monthly price.

The Palms is in a building that’s about 50 years old and is being renovated. I learned the HVAC system was recently updated and needed adjustments to work properly.

I appreciate hearing about those details. Renovations are part of the picture, and I want to understand both what’s already been done and what’s still being worked on.

Compared with Somerby, The Palms didn’t feel as open and airy to me. It has a different atmosphere, and I noticed that as I walked through the common areas and rooms.

But I also noticed friendly staff and people who seemed happy.

That was only my impression during one visit, but it matters to me. I’m trying to imagine Mom living somewhere, spending time with people, asking for help, and finding a routine. A place's feel includes the people in it.

The grounds were another positive. There were trees, shaded paths, and places to sit outside. After recently spending time outdoors with Mom at the skilled nursing facility, I could appreciate having pleasant outdoor space available.

Then came the food.

You knew I was getting there.

In my opinion, the meal wasn’t as good as what I brought back from Somerby. And there were peas mixed with the corn and carrots.

Peas.

The corn and carrots had been doing perfectly well without that kind of interference.

I understand some people enjoy peas. I respect their right to be wrong at lunch.

My personal vegetable grievances aside, food is still an important part of this search. Mom has made her opinions about facility meals very clear, and I want to pay attention to what she might actually enjoy eating.

One meal gives me a sample, and this sample didn’t impress me as much as Somerby’s did.

The Palms does have another meaningful difference: it costs less per month.

That deserves consideration. These are substantial ongoing expenses, and I’m trying to weigh the cost alongside the setting, the people, the food, and how well a place could meet Mom’s needs.

So my impression today was mixed, with some real positives. The building is older and undergoing updates. The interior felt less open than Somerby. I preferred Somerby’s food. But the staff was friendly, the people I saw seemed happy, the grounds were nice, and the monthly cost was lower.

I’m glad I went.

I’ve also been sharing my thoughts with my brothers and their wives, and posting pictures in a shared Google Drive so everyone can see what I’m seeing. I want them included as we think through the options for Mom. The photos give us something concrete to discuss, and their perspectives help me consider things I might have missed. My opinion of peas, however, is already firmly established.

Each tour is helping me figure out which questions to ask and which details I want to bring back to Mom. I want her involved in thinking about where she could feel comfortable and what matters most to her.

Tomorrow, I tour another place.

I’ll keep asking questions, looking around, and tasting the food.

And quietly hoping the vegetables have made better decisions.

My First Assisted Living Tour—and a Mom-Approved Dinner

Today was a full day.

I started with a 10:15 a.m. cardiology appointment and left with some action items of my own. Taking care of Mom doesn’t take my health off the calendar.

Then I went to an afternoon recovery meeting before heading to Somerby in Mount Pleasant for my first assisted living tour.

I’ve been scheduling these visits, thinking through questions, and trying to understand what the next step could look like for Mom. Today, I got to walk through a place and start putting that information into context.

There was a lot to take in.

We discussed what Mom would need to qualify for assisted living, what’s included in the residence, activities, security, and more. I’m learning how much there is to understand beyond whether a room looks nice.

I want to know how the place would work for her day-to-day. What would she have access to? What could she participate in? Would it feel like somewhere she could settle in and enjoy herself?

I saw lounges, dining and activity spaces, coffee areas, and outdoor spaces. Walking through helped me picture where Mom might spend time beyond her own room.

I also asked whether I could take pictures and made a point of saying I wouldn’t include residents. This is their home. I wanted to document the spaces while respecting the privacy of the people living there.

Then came the part of the tour I had been particularly interested in.

The food.

If you’ve been following along, you know I’ve been requesting tastings. Choosing somewhere Mom might eat every day deserves a little investigation. A brochure can describe dinner beautifully, but Mom has never eaten a brochure.

I left with two to-go boxes.

One had a fish combination with shrimp and flounder, a baked potato, and sautéed green beans. The other had a shrimp quesadilla. There were also two green salads, tartar sauce, fruit salad, and two peach cake desserts.

I had arrived for information and left carrying dinner. This is a meeting format I can support.

Of course, my opinion was only part of the process. The food needed to make it to Mom.

And it was Mom-approved.

If you're following her recent reviews of hospital and facility meals, you know this is meaningful news. We have encountered wraps that did not survive the review process.

This meal got her approval. I was glad to bring her something she enjoyed—and to have her take part in this step toward a possible next home.

One tour and one meal are a beginning. I still have information to work through and more to learn about what will fit her needs.

But I left this first visit with a clearer understanding of assisted living, a lot to think about, and something concrete to share with Mom.

After a day of my own medical responsibilities, recovery, and planning for her care, it felt good to have a simple, positive moment.

Mom liked dinner.

I’ll take that win—with a side of peach cake.

I Was Offended… Apparently I’m a Senior Now

Today, I was offended.

Not by politics.

Not by social media.

Not even by hospital cafeteria coffee.

No… I was personally attacked by kindness.

I stopped by Harris Teeter on Ben Sawyer in Mount Pleasant to grab lunch before heading to the hospital to spend time with my mom. It wasn’t exactly a gourmet feast—a sandwich, a Coke Zero, a KitKat, and yes… a chocolate chip cookie.

Before anyone starts judging my nutritional choices, remember… hospitals burn emotional calories.

I rolled up to the self-checkout and hadn’t even entered my alternate ID or scanned my first item when a very pleasant Harris Teeter employee walked over and said:

“Let me give you an additional discount.”

Now we’re talking!

I’m thinking maybe it’s Customer Appreciation Day.

Maybe they liked my smile.

Maybe they recognized my dazzling personality.

I happily started scanning each item while the self-checkout AI watched me like I was starring in CSI: Grocery Store. Every beep felt like I was proving my innocence.

Finally, I hit Pay.

That’s when I saw it.

Senior Discount.

…Excuse me?

Senior?

Who?

Me?

Are you absolutely serious?

I thought I looked pretty good for my age. Half Asian genes are supposed to buy you extra time before aging catches up. We don’t gently age—we apparently hit the wall decades later… and then gravity just wins in one spectacular weekend.

Sure, I qualify for an AARP membership.

But I always viewed that as more of a suggestion than an identity.

Now I’m wondering if I should start saying things like, “Back in my day…”

Should I begin eating dinner at 4:15?

Am I required to complain about gas prices and the weather?

Should I start carrying hard candy in my pockets?

I guess the next logical step is downloading the OurTime dating app.

Apparently, society has spoken.

On the bright side…

If someone wants to save me money because they think I’ve earned enough birthdays, who am I to argue?

I’ll take the discount.

But I’m still recovering emotionally.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go yell at some kids to stay off my lawn.

…The lawn I don’t even have.

Getting older is weird.

At least the Coke Zero was still full price.

The Great Handicap Parking Mystery of Mount Pleasant

Today I headed over to Town Square in Mount Pleasant to catch Pressure, the new D-Day movie.

(By the way, if you're curious what I thought about it, check out my movie review at https://NielFlamm.com/videos/moviereview.)

As a right above-the-knee amputee, I usually look for an accessible parking space. It's closer to the theater, the walk is easier, and getting in and out with a prosthetic leg is a whole lot less like an obstacle course.

Then I spotted it.

The same accessible parking space.

The same questionable parking job.

The same blue-haired driver.

At this point, I'm convinced this is either a social experiment or an attempt to see how many spaces one compact sedan can occupy at once.

Folks, this wasn't a monster truck. It wasn't an oversized SUV towing a boat. It wasn't a bus.

It was a mid-size sedan.

A vehicle specifically designed to fit between two painted lines.

Yet somehow it was parked like it had ricocheted off three shopping carts before coming to rest.

I stood there wondering if I should leave a helpful note:

"The lines aren't decorations."

Maybe the parking lot needs bowling bumpers.

Maybe flashing runway lights.

Maybe one of those airport workers with orange glow sticks directing traffic.

To the mystery blue-haired parker: I have faith in you. The engineers who designed your car have faith in you. The people who painted the parking lines have faith in you.

One day, you'll center that car.

Until then... I'll keep bringing my sense of humor.

And don't forget to check out my review of Pressure over at https://NielFlamm.com/videos/moviereview.