Two Stories About Recovery That Hit Differently This Week

On Monday, I heard about two very different stories involving two very famous people. Both made me think about recovery, sobriety, addiction, and something those of us around recovery learn pretty quickly:

There is no finish line.

The first story was about Brad Pitt.

I haven't talked to Brad Pitt. He hasn't called me lately. We haven't grabbed coffee. And until he invites me over to hang out, I can only go by what he actually said publicly.

In a recent Esquire interview, Pitt talked about having been sober for seven years and then deciding to drink again. He described his drinking now as being more restrained and acknowledged that there have already been a couple of occasions when he realized larger quantities weren't good for him.

This is also the same Brad Pitt who publicly thanked Bradley Cooper in 2020 for helping him get sober.

I'm not here to judge Brad Pitt's decision.

Recovery is personal. What works—or doesn't work—for Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt's business.

But his story caught my attention because I've heard versions of it before.

I've sat in meetings and heard people talk about having years of sobriety before eventually deciding they didn't need recovery anymore.

Maybe things were different now.

Maybe enough time had passed.

Maybe they had learned their lesson.

Maybe this time they could drink like a "normal" person.

And sometimes it started exactly that way.

Moderately.

One drink.

A glass of wine with dinner.

Only on vacation.

Only on weekends.

Until it wasn't moderate anymore.

Those are the stories I've heard. That doesn't mean Brad Pitt's story will end the same way. I don't know him, and neither I nor anyone else should pretend we know what his future holds.

But it reminds me why recovery asks us to focus on today.

Not seven years from now.

Not seven years ago.

Today.

Then There Was Hayden Panettiere

The second story was much harder to hear.

Actress Hayden Panettiere died at 36 in Greenville, South Carolina.

I knew her work. I watched Remember the Titans. I watched I Love You, Beth Cooper. I watched Scream 4.

She was somebody I'd seen on a screen for years.

She had also spoken publicly about struggles with addiction and depression.

According to authorities, Panettiere was found unresponsive and in cardiac arrest. Emergency responders attempted to resuscitate her, but she was pronounced dead. An autopsy reportedly found no trauma that contributed to her death.

At the time I'm writing this, her official cause and manner of death have not been determined. Toxicology results are still pending.

That's important.

I'm not going to declare that addiction caused her death when investigators haven't determined that.

I'm not going to turn someone's death into speculation.

But hearing about her death still made me think about recovery.

Because I've seen what addiction can do.

I've known people who got frighteningly close to dying.

I've known people who came back.

And I've known people who didn't.

There Is a Solution

That's really why I'm writing this.

Not because Brad Pitt decided to drink again.

Not because we know what caused Hayden Panettiere's death.

I'm writing it because somebody reading this might be struggling right now.

Someone might be wondering whether they really have a problem.

Someone might have been sober for years and be thinking, Maybe I've got this figured out now.

Someone might have relapsed yesterday and believe they've thrown everything away.

Someone else might be sitting alone thinking there isn't another way.

There is.

Recovery isn't reserved for celebrities.

It isn't reserved for people with money.

It isn't reserved for people who haven't relapsed.

It isn't reserved for someone who has reached some imaginary "bottom."

You don't have to wait until everything is gone.

You don't have to wait until your family gives up.

You don't have to wait until you're sitting in a hospital.

You don't have to wait until you're dying.

There is a solution.

There are meetings. There are treatment programs. There are professionals. There are recovery communities filled with people who understand exactly what it feels like to wonder how the hell life got to this point.

And there are people willing to help.

Sometimes the hardest part is simply admitting:

I can't do this by myself anymore.

You don't have to.

Whether someone has seven hours, seven days, seven months, or seven years, recovery still happens the same way.

Today.

Then tomorrow, we try to do it again.

There is a solution, and it's available to all.

I Thought I Was Supposed to Be My True Self? Another Adventure on The Tinder

After approximately 2 billion swipes left (nope) and right (why not?), I finally got another match on the Tinder.

Her profile name?

"Hopeful."

Well, that's already one more hopeful person than I expected to find on the Tinder.

Hopeful is a straight, 5'8" woman who describes herself as:

"Down to earth, laid back woman that is looking for something real..."

Excellent.

She also wants:

"Someone that can be just there true self, no lies, no games no drama just your true self no matter what and I will be the same!"

First, I believe we're looking for their true self.

But this is the Tinder, not the SATs. I'm not grading anyone.

More importantly:

Great! Imma be my true self.

Because I don't know how to be Matt Damon.

Her profile also provides some important intelligence. She doesn't like receiving nude selfies—which seems like an extremely reasonable policy—works out sometimes, smokes, which I don't, and drinks on special occasions.

Fine.

So I start the conversation:

"Good evening, Hopeful!"

I had a sneaking suspicion her parents didn't look at their newborn daughter and say, "She's beautiful. Let's name her Hopeful."

Turns out I was correct.

Her name is Chrissy.

We start chatting. I throw in some humor. She seems to like it.

Excellent.

I tell her that I think I'm actually funnier in person.

Also excellent.

We're talking about what we're doing Thursday. I mention some completely innocuous stuff about my day. Nobody has attempted to sell cryptocurrency to anyone. Nobody claims to be conducting "market research" in Augusta.

We're making progress!

Then I mention my sobriety.

Record scratch.

The conversation takes a turn.

She asks:

"So is that you drink now or no"

I explain that no, I don't drink. I've been sober for a little over 17 years.

But I also explain that I don't care if other people drink—as long as they're responsible about it.

I'm sober.

I'm not the Soup Nazi.

NO CHARDONNAY FOR YOU!

Drink your wine. Have your cocktail. Order a beer.

I'm not going to leap across the table and slap a margarita out of your hand.

This conversation happened Thursday at around 4:30 p.m.

I sent a few more messages afterward.

I even asked if she'd like to talk on the phone, since her profile said that's her preferred method of communication.

And then...

Crickets.

Not even Tinder crickets.

Those crickets have probably unmatched me too.

Which leaves me slightly confused.

Wait a minute, Chrissy.

I thought you wanted someone who could be:

"Just their true self."

That's exactly what I did!

I didn't lie.

I didn't play games.

I didn't create drama.

I didn't pretend to drink.

I didn't pretend to be Matt Damon.

I showed up as my true self, just like the advertisement requested.

Apparently there were terms and conditions.

And here's what really makes me laugh:

Her profile says she drinks "on special occasions."

Is having someone who drinks booze really that important when you only drink sometimes yourself?

Maybe there's an annual Cabernet Festival I don't know about.

Maybe Valentine's Day requires tequila.

Maybe I'm supposed to hold the wine glass while she drinks it.

I have questions.

Of course, maybe she just got busy. Maybe she'll respond eventually. Maybe she met somebody else. That's dating.

But if the sobriety conversation is what killed it, that's pretty funny.

Because after dealing with fake profiles, scammers, crypto investors, mysterious 6'6" women named Hamit, and everything else I've encountered on the Tinder, I finally did exactly what a profile asked:

I was my true self.

And apparently my true self got left on read.

Maybe next time I'll try being Matt Damon.

Recovery, Flow State, and the Present

One of the blogs on A Godd3ss3s Cr3ation really resonated with me.

The idea of living in a Flow State reminds me of recovery. Early on, I spent too much time replaying yesterday or worrying about tomorrow. Recovery taught me to focus on today.

It also reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Kung Fu Panda:

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it's called the present."

Whether it's recovery, dialysis, or everyday life, I can't change yesterday or control tomorrow. All I can do is make the best of today.

Read the original Flow State blog at https://agodd3ss3scr3ation.com/blog.

Helping Launch A Godd3ss3s Cr3ation Has Strengthened My Recovery

One of the projects I’m most proud to be involved with right now is helping launch A Godd3ss3s Cr3ation at https://agodd3ss3scr3ation.com.


Most people know me through NielFlamm.com, where I write about everything from leadership and AI to movie reviews, recovery, and whatever else catches my attention. This project, however, has become something much more personal.


Working alongside Godd3ss Aisha and Godd3ss Alicia has given me the opportunity to help build something centered on healthy living, mindfulness, self-care, and becoming a better version of myself.


What surprised me is how much it has helped me.

I’ve been sober for many years now, and I’ve learned that recovery isn’t simply about not taking a drink. That’s where it starts—not where it ends.


Recovery is about taking care of my mind.

My body.

My soul.


It’s about the people I surround myself with, the conversations I have, and the thoughts I allow into my life.


As I help edit blog posts, brainstorm ideas, and publish articles for A Godd3ss3s Cr3ation, I’m constantly reading about gratitude, letting go, protecting your peace, managing stress, self-care, healthy habits, and slowing down long enough to check in with myself.


I can’t spend hours editing articles about becoming healthier without asking myself if I’m doing the same.


The blogs aren’t just helping readers.


They’re helping me.


I’ve always believed that if I'm around positive people long enough, some of that positivity rubs off on me. The discussions I have with Aisha and Alicia aren’t about gossip or negativity. They’re about growth, healing, perspective, and trying to become better than we were yesterday.


That reinforces the principles I’ve tried to live by throughout my recovery.


One thing I’ve learned is that sobriety requires maintenance. It isn’t something you accomplish once and never think about again. Just like physical fitness, healthy relationships, or a successful career, recovery requires attention.


Helping launch A Godd3ss3s Cr3ation has become part of that maintenance for me.


If one of our blogs encourages someone to pause before reacting…


If it inspires someone to take better care of themselves…


If it helps someone choose hope over despair…


Or simply reminds someone that they’re worth investing in…


Then we’ve accomplished something worthwhile.


If you haven’t visited the site yet, I’d love for you to take a look.


Visit https://agodd3ss3scr3ation.com, spend a few minutes reading through the Blog, and if you enjoy what you find, subscribe. It’s completely free, and you’ll receive new articles as they’re published.


And if a particular blog resonates with you, please share it with someone you care about. You never know whose day—or life—you might brighten with a simple act of kindness.


Thank you to Godd3ss Aisha and Godd3ss Alicia for trusting me to help bring this vision to life. It’s been a rewarding experience, and one that continues to strengthen my own journey every day.