Thailand Update: Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin Responded—Now I Need a Date

Well, that was fast.

After writing about my plans to potentially spend about 30 days in Hua Hin, Thailand, I emailed the Hua Hin location of Bangkok Hospital to ask what I would need to do to continue my hemodialysis treatments while I'm there.

I expected to wait.

Instead, it took only a few hours for Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin to respond.

They sent me a detailed list of the medical records, dialysis information, and laboratory results they want me to provide before arriving in Thailand.

Suddenly, this little Thailand experiment feels considerably more real.

What Bangkok Hospital Needs From Me

The hospital wants my current hemodialysis prescription, including information such as my dialyzer, dialysate settings, blood-flow and dialysate-flow rates, dry weight, treatment duration and temperature, vascular access and anticoagulant. The prescription needs to be from within three months of my dialysis appointment in Hua Hin.

They also want my recent dialysis information, including any complications I've experienced during treatment, my blood pressure before and after dialysis, and medications administered during or after treatment, such as IV iron or erythropoietin.

Then come the labs.

They require recent testing for HBsAg, hepatitis C antibodies, hepatitis B antibodies, hepatitis B core antibody IgG, and HIV. Most of those results need to be from within six months, while the HIV result can be from within one year.

They noted that if I arrive without the required information, they may need to repeat blood testing before my first dialysis treatment—and there would be an additional charge.

They also want a list of optional information, including my medical history, recent dialysis treatment information, medication list, and additional lab results such as CBC, BUN, creatinine, electrolytes, calcium, phosphorus, and other tests.

It looks like a lot on paper.

Fortunately, I shouldn't have to assemble all of this by myself.

I Talked to My Dialysis Provider

Most Mondays, either my nephrologist or his Physician Assistant checks in with patients at the dialysis center.

Today, I told him what I'm planning.

I think he was a little surprised when I told him where I was thinking about going—and that I was considering staying for about a month.

Thailand wasn't exactly the answer he was expecting.

I showed him the information Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin requested. He told me that my dialysis clinic should be able to obtain most, if not all, of it.

That's a pretty big hurdle potentially taken care of.

And that's exactly why I contacted the hospital before booking a trip. A beachfront condo with an ocean view sounds wonderful, but none of that matters if I can't safely continue dialysis three times a week.

The Pieces Are Coming Together

In a relatively short time, I've gone from thinking about Thailand to working through the logistics.

I've connected with an expat who may be able to help me find a furnished beachfront condo, work through the visa process, arrange transportation from Bangkok to Hua Hin, find temporary accommodations while I get settled, and potentially help arrange a caretaker for Mom.

Now I've heard directly from Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin about what they need for my dialysis.

My dialysis provider believes they can supply the medical information.

So what's the next major item on the Thailand checklist?

I need to pick a date.

That's where I am now.

No plane ticket yet. No condo lease yet. I'm not packing a suitcase tomorrow.

But each question I answer removes another reason this couldn't work.

A few days ago, dialysis in Thailand was one of the biggest unknowns.

Today, I have a list.

And apparently, my dialysis clinic has most of what's on it.

Now I just need to figure out when I'm going to Hua Hin.

Thailand Is Starting to Feel a Little More Real

For a while, Thailand has been an idea. Lately, that idea has started turning into actual planning.

I've been in contact with an expat in Thailand who can help me work through the logistics of getting to Hua Hin and figure out whether this could realistically work for me—and potentially for my mom as well.

There are a surprising number of moving pieces.

He's offered to help me find a condo in Hua Hin. I've already started looking at what is available, and my wish list isn't exactly small. I want something furnished, preferably three bedrooms, beachfront with an ocean view, and reasonably close to the hospital.

I'm discovering that those places actually exist without necessarily costing what a comparable beachfront condo would cost in the United States.

He can also help me figure out the appropriate Thai visa. That's one of those things where I'd much rather have someone familiar with the process help me than spend hours bouncing around the interwebs trying to figure out what is current and what was accurate three years ago.

Then there are the immediate arrival logistics.

He can arrange transportation from Bangkok airport to Hua Hin, which matters because I'd prefer not to land after a very long flight and start negotiating transportation in a country I've never visited.

He can also help arrange a temporary place for me to stay while I get situated and look at condos in person.

That makes a lot of sense to me. Pictures on the internet are wonderful, but I'd rather walk into a condo, look out the window and confirm that "ocean view" actually means I can see the ocean—not that if I lean over a balcony, look between two buildings and squint really hard, there's a tiny patch of blue in the distance.

There's also Mom.

We've discussed the possibility of eventually having her in Thailand, and this expat may be able to help arrange a caretaker. That would require more research and planning, but knowing resources are available makes the idea less overwhelming.

He even mentioned helping me get a Thai driver's license.

I'll pass.

I don't have an urge to drive in Thailand. I think I'll be perfectly happy using ride-share services, taxis, and other transportation. Somebody else can navigate the traffic while I sit in the passenger seat and look out the window.

Then There's the Big One: Dialysis

Everything else is secondary if I can't work out dialysis.

Today, I emailed Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin to ask what I'd need to receive hemodialysis there during an approximately 30-day visit to Thailand.

For me, this isn't optional travel planning. I need hemodialysis three times a week, so before I start getting too excited about beachfront condos and ocean views, I need to know that my medical care can continue safely and reliably while I'm there.

I want to know what records they need from my dialysis provider in the United States, how far in advance treatment must be arranged, scheduling, costs, payment requirements, and anything else an international dialysis patient needs to do before arriving.

Now I wait for their response.

If Bangkok Hospital Hua Hin can accommodate me for a month, that's a pretty significant piece of the puzzle.

Maybe 30 Days Is the Right Test

I'm not talking about getting on an airplane tomorrow and permanently moving to Thailand.

A roughly 30-day stay would give me a chance to experience Hua Hin as more than a vacation destination.

Can I comfortably get around without driving?

Can I find a condo I'd actually want to live in?

How easy is it to get groceries, go out to eat, and handle normal daily life?

Most importantly, what is it like going through my normal dialysis routine in Thailand?

Those are questions that YouTube videos, Facebook groups, blogs, and beautiful real-estate photos can't completely answer.

I need to experience it.

For now, many questions remain unanswered. But there are also fewer unanswered questions than there were a few weeks ago.

I've found someone on the ground who can potentially help with housing, visas, transportation, temporary accommodations, and care for Mom.

I've contacted the hospital about dialysis.

I've started looking at beachfront condos.

And apparently, someone is even willing to help me get a driver's license that I have absolutely no intention of getting.

One piece at a time.

Thirty days in Hua Hin might tell me whether Thailand is simply a place I'd enjoy visiting—or somewhere I could actually see myself spending a significant part of my life.

When Caring for Mom Becomes a Battle of Wills

When I'm sitting here writing posts for the blog, I often keep the Facebook Reels open in the background. Sometimes it's entertainment. Sometimes it's noise. And every once in a while, I come across something that hits surprisingly close to home.

Tonight, it was this Reel:

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1Gg6CPpZ9D/

As I watched it, I thought, I'm experiencing something similar.

I've written before about my mother and her time in a skilled nursing facility. I've also mentioned that she wants to move into an assisted living facility.

After 56 years, she's had enough and wants some time away.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking about a different kind of change in my own life. My plan is what I call 6+6 — part of the year in the United States and part of the year in Thailand.

But before any of that happens, there are much more immediate decisions to make.

Assisted Living Isn't Free

Assisted living facilities cost money.

A bunch of money, I anticipate.

This week, I'm touring two assisted living facilities. I want to see what's available, understand what they provide, ask questions, and, of course, find out what everything actually costs.

Then comes the question of how to pay.

That's where things get complicated.

I have Power of Attorney over my mother's assets, which allows me to handle her financial matters and use her assets to pay for her care.

There's one problem.

My father has voluntarily declined to provide me with information about my mother's employer 401(k).

And that has created what may become a battle of wills.

Living Under the Same Roof Without Talking

I haven't spoken to my father in more than a week. It might be closer to a week and a half now.

Here's what makes the situation even stranger:

I still live in the house my parents both own.

My room is on the second floor.

Yet I haven't spent much time at home lately.

There has been dialysis. There have been visits with Mom. There have been recovery meetings. And I've been trying to find some fun somewhere in between it all.

Today was the exception.

Today, as I wrote in another post, my body essentially told me that I wasn't getting out of bed.

So I didn't.

I spent the day upstairs.

There is something sad about being in the same house as someone and having that much distance between us.

The Last Holdout

The entire situation is sad.

From my perspective, my father has gradually alienated the nuclear family.

For a long time, I was the last holdout.

I kept trying.

Now I'm reaching a point where my primary concern isn't winning an argument or proving who is right.

It's figuring out what happens next for Mom.

She has said what she wants.

I have two assisted living facilities to tour this week.

I need to understand the costs.

I need to understand the resources available to pay those costs.

And somewhere in the middle of all of this is a 401(k) that I still don't have information about.

So that's where this story stands tonight.

Mom wants assisted living.

I'm preparing to tour the facilities.

I'm thinking about my own eventual 6+6 life between the United States and Thailand.

My father and I aren't speaking.

And we're still living under the same roof.

Families can be complicated.

Money can make them even more complicated.

Add aging parents, caregiving, decades of marriage, Power of Attorney, retirement accounts, and decisions about where someone wants to live, and suddenly life starts producing storylines that even the Facebook Reels would have trouble making up.

Follow along to find out what happens next.

I have a feeling this chapter isn't finished.

The Hinge Experiment: No Matches. Maybe It’s Time to Delete the App?

Well, here we are again.

I opened Hinge, went to my matches, and was greeted by the same incredibly encouraging message:

“No matches right now.”

Thank you, Hinge.

I worried there might be a secret match hiding somewhere. Maybe someone had been trying desperately to reach me, but the app had misplaced her.

Nope.

Still nobody.

Since my last round of matches—Kelli, Missing Gina and Me—there have been no new matches.

Zero.

The Hinge Experiment has become less of a dating experiment and more of a controlled scientific study examining how long a bald man can stare at an empty screen before deleting an app.

At Least Somebody Is Interested in Me

There is some good news.

While my Hinge traffic is approximately equal to that of an abandoned shopping mall...

the traffic to NielFlamm.com is up substantially.

Apparently, people are much more interested in reading about me trying to date than actually dating me.

I'm not sure whether to celebrate or seek professional marketing advice.

On Hinge:

No matches right now.

On NielFlamm.com:

Come on in!

Maybe I've discovered my true calling.

Not dating.

Writing about the complete absence of dating.

At least one of those appears to have an audience.

Hinge Has a Solution, Naturally

The screenshot makes me laugh because immediately underneath “No matches right now,” Hinge offers two helpful possibilities:

Boost your profile.

Or...

Upgrade to HingeX.

Ahhhhh.

The problem may be solvable with a credit card.

I see.

Nothing says romance quite like:

“Congratulations! Nobody wants to talk to you. Would you like to purchase additional features?”

I'm not convinced.

I'm not desperate to meet someone, and I'm definitely not interested in spending money to make my dating life look more active than it is.

It would be nice to meet someone.

That's still true.

But if it doesn't happen on Hinge, it doesn't happen on Hinge.

Maybe It’s Time to End the Experiment

I'm starting to seriously wonder whether I've gotten everything I'm going to get from this app.

I started with Tinder.

That became an experiment.

Then I moved to Hinge.

That became another experiment.

There were matches.

There were messages.

There were “good mornings.”

There were unanswered questions.

There were almost-dates.

There were phone numbers offered.

There was silence.

There were unmatches.

And now we've arrived at the grand finale:

An empty queue.

Maybe Hinge really is “designed to be deleted.”

Just perhaps not for the reason I originally hoped.

Then There’s Thailand...

Another wrinkle in this story.

I've been exploring the possibility of eventually spending part of my life in Thailand, and I've had people tell me something interesting:

My dating prospects may look very different there.

We'll see.

I'm certainly not booking an international flight because somebody promised me a better dating pool.

I'm interested in Thailand for reasons much bigger than dating. If that chapter happens, it will involve figuring out where and how I want to live, healthcare, dialysis, cost of living, culture, food, and whether I can build a life there that I actually enjoy.

But apparently, I've been told that being me may not be quite the dating catastrophe that my current Hinge screen would suggest.

Let's review the merchandise:

Bald?

Yep.

One leg?

Definitely.

ESRD?

Check.

Eyes that have required enough work to qualify for their own frequent-patient program?

Also check.

And yet I've been told:

“You'll do fine in Thailand.”

Well, that's quite the sales pitch.

I don't know whether that's actually true, and I'm certainly not assuming women in another country are going to react to me in any particular way.

They're individuals, not a demographic dating guarantee.

But I admit...

I'm curious.

Maybe the Problem Isn’t Something That Needs Fixing

That's probably the biggest takeaway from this experiment.

I'm not interested in reinventing myself to generate matches.

I have a complicated life.

I have scars.

I have medical realities.

I have recovery.

I have boundaries.

I have one leg.

I have no hair.

I have questionable eyesight.

I tend to write about things on the internet that most sane people would probably keep private.

And somehow I've also acquired an imaginary iguana named Steve.

This is the package.

I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

That's okay.

I'm not looking for everyone.

I'd eventually like to find one woman where the interest, effort, attraction, humor, and conversation go both ways.

If that happens in South Carolina, wonderful.

If someday it happens in Thailand, wonderful.

If it happens somewhere completely unexpected, even better.

And if it takes a while?

I have a life to live in the meantime.

So, Is Hinge Getting Deleted?

I haven't decided yet.

But for the first time since starting this experiment, I'm seriously considering it.

The current standings are difficult to misinterpret:

Matches: 0.

Conversations: 0.

Dates: 0.

NielFlamm.com traffic: UP.

Maybe that's the universe telling me something.

Or maybe it's just an algorithm telling me to buy HingeX.

Either way, I'm listening.

And Steve?

Don't start packing for Thailand yet. 🦎

The Algorithm Thinks I Need a Beach. I Agree.

The algorithm must know what I need: a beach, a little luxury, and a dollar that stretches farther than I do.

Lately, I’ve been looking into leaving the United States and living abroad. The Philippines, which I already love, keeps popping up alongside Vietnam and Thailand—two places I haven’t visited yet.

Now, I’m not looking to become a beach survivalist. I want the nice things: reliable internet, modern conveniences, and, most importantly, good healthcare. Dialysis has to fit into this dream. It’s nonnegotiable, even with an ocean view.

According to my very enthusiastic travel adviser, The Google, Thailand deserves a closer look. Hua Hin has caught my attention with listings for luxury one-bedroom condos around $1,000 a month, complete with security and amenities. My searches also suggest potentially manageable residency options and out-of-pocket dialysis costs. All things I’ll need to verify before packing my flip-flops.

And can ride-share apps handle my transportation? Goodbye car payment, insurance, maintenance, and whatever that noise under the hood is.

I want to spend however much time I have left enjoying my life. Preferably somewhere the ocean is close and my money lasts longer.

To my Vietnamese readers: reach out! Where should I look, and what should I know? The algorithm has opinions. I’d love yours.