It's late in the Eastern time zone, and Airica has officially landed in Las Vegas, Nevada, at Harry Reid International Airport.
Another trip for her, another opportunity for me to help with the travel logistics, and another chapter in The Hinge Experiment.
Before she headed out, I helped her get set up with an American Airlines AAdvantage account. The goal wasn't just to start earning miles for future travel. It was also to take advantage of benefits available to AAdvantage members, including free onboard internet on eligible flights.
Because if we're going to keep traveling, we might as well collect some miles along the way!
I'm sure we'll do more travel planning in the future. But today's story isn't really about airline miles.
It's about gratitude, understanding, and something that means a great deal to me.
An Invitation to Mexican Thanksgiving
Yesterday, I received an official invitation to Columbia, South Carolina, for a Mexican Thanksgiving celebration.
Now, that sounds pretty wonderful.
Good food, family, friends, and an opportunity to spend time with Airica and the people who are important to her.
Naturally, I accepted the invitation.
Then something occurred to me.
I might not actually be able to attend.
So I asked what time everything would be happening.
The answer was around 6:30 p.m.
And that's when I realized I had a scheduling conflict.
Some Commitments Are Bigger Than the Calendar
I've already committed to spending Thanksgiving at Low Country Palmetto Behavioral.
Why?
Because I want to give those who spend the year doing service work an opportunity to take the holiday off and spend time with their own families.
Service work is an important part of my recovery.
It's one of the ways I give back to a program and a community that has given me so much over the years.
There's something powerful about helping someone else. It gets me out of my own head, reminds me I'm part of something bigger, and gives me a chance to be useful.
I don't do it for recognition or a pat on the back.
I do it because it helps me.
Helping others helps me maintain my recovery, keeps me grounded, and allows me to contribute something positive to the world around me.
It's part of the person I want to be.
So, as much as I'd enjoy attending Mexican Thanksgiving in Colombia, I had already made a commitment.
And that commitment matters.
The Part That Really Meant Something
Here's where I want to stop and acknowledge something about Airica.
In previous relationships, a situation like this could have turned into an argument.
An invitation was extended. I accepted. Then I realized I couldn't attend because of an existing commitment.
That could easily become a disagreement about priorities, expectations, or why I couldn't rearrange my plans.
But that's not what happened here.
I explained the situation and why I needed to be at Low Country Palmetto Behavioral.
And I felt supported.
No one expected me to abandon something important to me to accommodate another plan.
That may sound like a small thing to some people, but it isn't small to me.
It's meaningful when someone understands that you have commitments outside the relationship. It's meaningful when they recognize that certain things are part of your identity and your well-being.
Airica understands that recovery service is important to me.
She understands that helping others is something I need to do, not simply something I occasionally volunteer for when I have nothing else on the calendar.
And I appreciate that.
Gratitude Is More Than Saying Thank You
During a short break between a meeting and a group business meeting, I sent Airica a gratitude text.
I wanted her to know that I appreciated her understanding.
I wanted her to know that I recognized the difference between being invited somewhere and being expected to abandon another commitment.
Most importantly, I wanted her to know that I appreciate her understanding what I need to do for my recovery.
There are plenty of things that go into getting to know someone.
You learn about their favorite foods, their families, their interests, their travel preferences, and whether they prefer a steak cooked medium or medium-well.
You learn about their sense of humor, their habits, and all the little things that make them who they are.
But you also learn how they respond when life doesn't fit neatly into the plans you've made.
Sometimes those moments tell you quite a bit.
I'm grateful that Airica recognizes the importance of my recovery and the service work that comes with it.
I'm grateful that I don't have to explain why helping others matters so much to me.
I'm also grateful I can keep doing something that helps me become a better person.
The Hinge Experiment Continues
Airica is in Las Vegas. I'm back here in South Carolina, and we're both managing our schedules and commitments.
There will be other dinners, other holidays, other trips, and plenty of opportunities to spend time together.
Mexican Thanksgiving may not work out this year, but that doesn't diminish my appreciation for the invitation.
And it certainly doesn't diminish my appreciation for Airica.
One thing I'm learning through this experience is that getting to know someone isn't just about the fun adventures, the restaurants, the road trips, or the hugs.
It's also about understanding what matters to each other.
It's about respecting commitments, supporting individual priorities, and letting each other keep being the people we are.
I don't know where this journey will lead, and I'm not going to try to predict it.
But I do know that feeling supported in something as important as my recovery means a great deal to me.
Thank you, Airica, for understanding that I need to do recovery service work. Thank you for supporting something that helps me stay grounded and be a better person in this world.
I appreciate you.
And that's something worth saying out loud.
❤️
