Lost in Translation—in the Best Possible Way
After uploading my vlog about Resident Evil 2026—which you should definitely check out—I decided to peek at the translation metrics for my website.
Honestly, I hadn’t checked the translation API in quite some time. Apparently, while I wasn’t paying attention, the internet was busy translating.
The numbers impressed me:
18 million characters translated
3 million words translated
4,000 translation requests
Italian generated the most page views by language, followed by Spanish and Vietnamese. Chinese came in last, which surprised me because China has previously been one of the top sources of traffic to my website.
Today, I added two more languages: Thai and Czech.
I added Thai because I hope to spend part of my remaining years living in Thailand. If I’m going to enjoy the beaches, food, culture, and hopefully a beachfront view, it seems only fair that Thai readers can enjoy my adventures—and occasional misadventures—in their own language.
Czech was also added because the more people who can read and watch my content, the better. My website is slowly becoming more multilingual than I am. I’m still working on English some days.
To everyone who has visited, read a blog post, watched a video, or translated my content: thank you.
These numbers may not break the internet, but they mean a great deal to me. I truly enjoy bringing this content to you and sharing the strange, funny, serious, and unexpected moments of my life.
Thank you for reading, watching, and joining me on the journey—wherever in the world you may be.
Resident Evil (2026): Bryan, Get a Clue!
I went into Resident Evil (2026) knowing almost nothing.
I had seen a few creepy trailers—including those arms coming out of the house and grabbing the door frame—and that was enough to get me into the theater.
Then my friend asked:
“Is this a remake of the movies based on the video game?”
My highly researched answer?
“I don't know.”
Afterward, I asked THE GOOGLE and learned this isn't simply a remake of the Milla Jovovich movies. There are familiar elements, including Raccoon City and the Umbrella Corporation, but this movie does its own thing.
And then there's BRYAN.
He's a medical courier. He's our hero. He's funny.
He also makes some decisions that had me wanting to yell:
“BRYAN! GET A CLUE!”
Throw in a snowstorm, a desolate city, a wandering woman, some seriously gross horror, and the consequences of people creating something they probably shouldn't have created...
And I had a pretty good time.
Did I need to know all the Resident Evil games and movies to enjoy it?
Nope.
I needed Bryan to make more thoughtful decisions.
🎬 Watch my full Resident Evil (2026) review:
From 400 to 1,500: Thank You for Being Here
About two weeks ago, I looked at my website numbers and wondered, “What happened?”
Viewership was at one of its lowest points since launching the webpage. I was seeing numbers around 400, and I couldn’t figure out what had changed.
I still don’t know.
But as of yesterday, my hits and unique views had climbed to more than 1,500, with total page views topping 1,900.
All I can say is… thank you.
It is amazing to see how far this little corner of the internet is reaching. The largest share of views is coming from China, and the statistics show visits from Iran, Pakistan, Ireland, the Philippines, Canada, the United States, Venezuela, Turkey, and many more countries.
Looking at that list, it feels like nearly the whole world is represented. I sit down to share something from my life, and somehow it travels to places I have never been, reaching people I may never have the opportunity to meet.
That is pretty incredible.
Creating this blog is a joy. It gives me a place to be creative, share my experiences, and put some of what is going on in my head into words. It is also cathartic. Sometimes writing helps me work through things that are hard to sort out any other way.
Knowing that people are stopping by makes it even more meaningful.
Whether you came here for my experiences as an amputee, my health journey, my faith, a cruise story, or simply to see what questionable joke I might tell next, I appreciate you being here.
I hope to keep bringing you content that is interesting, honest, and worth your time. There is plenty of life left to write about, and apparently, I now have an international audience for my search for a future ex-wife.
Surely that improves the odds a little.
I would love to hear from you. Where are you reading from? What brought you to the page? What stories have connected with you? Share as much or as little as you feel comfortable sharing.
Thank you for reading, coming back, and sharing this space with me. Whether this is your first visit or you have been following along from the beginning, I’m grateful.
With gratitude,
Niel
Day 98: Maybe the Silence Is the Most Interesting Data of All
Day 98.
We're now two days away from triple digits, and I’m still waiting for the detailed Nextdoor Insights studies I originally requested.
But today, I’m looking at this saga differently.
What If the Experiment Wasn't the Study?
For 98 days, I've been asking Nextdoor for research data.
In the process, I've accidentally collected some data of my own.
How does an organization respond when one person simply refuses to let a reasonable question disappear?
Not with threats. Not with harassment. Not by screaming louder.
Just by continuing to ask.
At some point, the absence of an answer becomes information itself—not proof of anyone's motive, but a case study in how an organization handles persistence, ownership, and closure.
That's something you won't find in a spreadsheet.
Meanwhile, the Petition Is Live
There's now another question on the table:
If neighbor reviews, recommendations, and local knowledge become increasingly valuable to Nextdoor—especially in the age of AI—should the neighbors creating that value participate in it?
I've launched the Neighbor Value-Sharing Petition to start that conversation.
If you agree, please sign it and share it.
Tomorrow: Day 99.
Then comes 100.
The funny thing is, I started this journey looking for Nextdoor's data.
I didn't expect Nextdoor's response to become data of its own.
👉 Follow the saga at NielFlamm.com/blog
The Hinge Experiment: Sometimes the “X” Isn’t Personal—It’s a Boundary
The Hinge Experiment continues.
Still no magical love story. Still no woman standing outside my door holding a Coke Zero and saying, “Niel, I've been looking everywhere for you.”
But I am looking.
And looking also means clicking the X sometimes.
Recently, I came across three profiles of women who, from what I could see, seem perfectly nice. Interesting careers, hobbies, personalities, and lives of their own.
And I clicked X on all three.
Not because I think there's anything wrong with them.
Not because of their appearance.
Not because one likes preserving food or another thinks dating her is like finding an extra chicken nugget in your meal—which, frankly, is a pretty strong sales pitch.
It came down to one little line in the profiles:
Marijuana: Sometimes.
For me, that's a no.
Before Someone Lights the Torches—or Something Else
This isn't me telling anyone else how to live.
I'm not starting the Niel Flamm War on Weed.
I'm also not interested in debating whether marijuana should be legal, illegal, medicinal, recreational, taxed, sold, grown, smoked, eaten in a gummy, baked into a brownie, or delivered by a talking iguana named Steve.
People make their own choices.
This is mine.
I'm in recovery, and I've learned over the years that I need to know my boundaries and protect them.
Based on what I've seen and experienced, I associate marijuana use with the potential to lead toward other substance use. I also know there is debate and research around the whole concept of a “gateway drug,” so I'm not presenting my personal experience as a universal scientific rule.
I don't need it to be one.
For my recovery, I choose not to have marijuana as part of my environment or romantic relationship.
That's enough.
My Friends Are a Different Story
I have friends and fraternity brothers who may enjoy marijuana.
They're adults.
They make their decisions.
I make mine.
In most cases, they consciously choose not to use it around me.
I appreciate that.
They aren't required to live their lives according to my recovery, and I don't expect them to.
But respecting my boundary tells me something important about the friendship.
They can do their thing.
I can do mine.
And nobody needs to turn Thanksgiving dinner into a TED Talk about cannabis.
Alcohol Is Weirdly Different for Me
This may sound contradictory, but I've gone on dates with women who drink alcohol responsibly.
And I find it absolutely fascinating.
Someone orders a glass of wine.
Then perhaps...
another glass of wine.
And then...
THEY STOP.
What kind of sorcery is this?
Two glasses?
You mean you're not immediately calculating how many more you can consume, where the next drink is coming from, and whether there's enough alcohol available to completely obliterate yourself?
Apparently, some people drink because they enjoy a drink.
Who knew?
That was never how I drank.
For me, drinking wasn't:
"This Cabernet has lovely notes of blackberry."
It was more:
“Excellent. How quickly can we make consciousness optional?”
That's one of the reasons I know I'm an alcoholic and why recovery remains important to me.
Someone else's responsible alcohol use doesn't automatically bother me. I know where I am with alcohol today.
Marijuana hits differently for me.
So I draw the boundary there.
Dating Is Also About Knowing What Doesn't Work
I've written a lot during The Hinge Experiment about wanting matches.
Then I finally cleaned out my matches because conversations weren't going anywhere.
Now I'm clicking through profiles looking for someone new.
But here's something important:
Getting a match isn't the goal.
Finding someone compatible is.
If I ignore something that's important to me just because someone is attractive or because my match queue currently resembles an abandoned shopping mall, what exactly am I accomplishing?
I could click the heart.
Maybe she clicks mine.
Maybe we start talking.
Maybe we like each other.
Then eventually I say:
“Oh, by the way, marijuana use is a boundary for me.”
And she says:
“Oh, by the way, I enjoy marijuana.”
Congratulations!
We've successfully discovered something the profile already told us.
That's not fair to either person.
The X is much easier.
It's Not Rejection of the Person
That's probably the biggest point.
I don't know these women.
For all I know, they're wonderful.
They may be smart, hilarious, compassionate, successful, and fantastic partners for someone.
I'm simply not that someone.
And that's okay.
Dating isn't about determining whether someone is a good or bad person.
It's determining whether two people might be good together.
There are things someone else might see on my profile and immediately think:
NOPE.
I have one leg.
I'm bald.
I'm in recovery.
I write publicly about my life.
I apparently have an imaginary iguana named Steve who has become a recurring character in my dating blog.
Take your pick.
Someone can hit X.
I'm going to survive.
So, Ladies, I Wish You Well
To these three women—and anyone else whose profile I pass because marijuana use is listed:
There is no judgment from me.
No lecture.
No attempt to change you.
No angry finger wagging from the other side of the Hinge algorithm.
Just a recognition that we probably aren't the right match.
I genuinely hope each of you finds your person.
Someone who appreciates your humor, your quirks, your interests, and whatever makes you uniquely you.
I'll keep looking for mine.
The Hinge Experiment continues.
The queue may still be empty, but I'm not going to abandon the things that matter to me just to fill it.
Besides...
Steve the Iguana has informed me that he's completely drug-free.
Finally, a viable candidate. 🦎