Day 107: Nirav Tolia Blocked Me Again. Apparently, We’re Doing This Twice.

Nirav, you got me. 😂

I've been posting about my request for the detailed Nextdoor Insights research that the company said readers could get by contacting Jacob Chavis.

While making my rounds across the various platforms and Nextdoor accounts, I came across CEO Nirav Tolia's X profile.

And there it was:

“@niravtolia has blocked you.”

Again.

Yes, again.

This is the second time in roughly six months that I've found myself blocked by Nextdoor's CEO.

I have to admit, that's almost impressive.

A Speed Bump, Not a Roadblock

The screenshot says I can still view Nirav's public posts, but I can't engage with them, follow him, or message him from that account.

Okay.

I'm resourceful.

This is a speed bump. It won’t end the conversation.

More importantly, blocking me doesn't answer the question I've been asking.

And this story didn't actually begin 107 days ago.

How Did I Even Get Here?

Long before the Insights report became part of this case study, I was a Nextdoor user in my local neighborhood.

I was eventually banned.

One issue involved my posting multiple personal items for sale. I questioned where the applicable restrictions appeared in Nextdoor's terms and policies and sought clarification.

From my perspective, meaningful communication eventually stopped.

So I started writing about my dissatisfaction on LinkedIn.

Then the discussion expanded.

I started looking more closely at Nextdoor's moderation model, communications, small-business experience, research, leadership, shareholder value, and other aspects of the company.

Eventually I came across Nextdoor's Home Insurance Insights research.

That’s where things got almost comical.

Nextdoor Told Readers to Contact Jacob

The June 15 Home Insurance Insights article says the research came from a survey of 1,000 U.S. adults.

Other Nextdoor Insights articles have been even more explicit about how to get additional research. For example, its summer-travel report tells readers who want the complete findings and detailed data to contact Jacob Chavis, Customer Analytics & Insights Manager.

So I did what Nextdoor told readers to do.

I contacted Jacob.

And then I followed up.

And followed up.

And followed up.

We're now at Day 107 of this particular chapter.

Communications eventually responded, and I've publicly acknowledged that. I didn't receive the complete, detailed material I requested.

Last week, I expanded my email to Nextdoor's Executive Team.

Now, as I continue to post about the experience, I discovered that Nirav has blocked me on X again.

Blocking Is Certainly an Option

Let's be fair about something.

Nirav has every right to decide whom he wants to interact with on his social media accounts.

Being CEO of a public company doesn't mean he owes me a personal conversation every time I have a question.

And I can't tell you why he blocked me.

Maybe he's tired of seeing my posts.

Maybe he thinks they're repetitive.

He may not like my approach.

Maybe he doesn't want to engage.

Only Nirav knows.

But here's where I think this becomes interesting from a leadership perspective.

Nextdoor's own leadership page identifies Nirav as its CEO, President, Chairperson of the Board, and co-founder.

That's a lot of leadership hats.

So when the person wearing all those hats blocks a shareholder who has been publicly questioning the company's communication, I think it's fair for me to write about the experience.

I'd Rather Have a Conversation

I've said this repeatedly:

I would rather talk than type.

Phone.

Video.

Virtual coffee.

An actual conversation.

I'm not asking Nirav to agree with me.

I'm not expecting Nextdoor to implement every idea I throw at it.

I'm not even expecting Nextdoor to enjoy my posts.

Some of them probably aren't particularly enjoyable from their side of the screen.

But if you're going to lead a company built around neighbors communicating with neighbors, criticism and uncomfortable questions come with the territory.

That's leadership.

I've Got Time

I've also joked before that Nextdoor may have picked the wrong person for a waiting contest.

My medical circumstances mean I have more downtime than I once did.

I can write.

I can research.

I can ask questions.

I can follow up.

And apparently I can periodically discover that I've been blocked again. 😂

I prefer Nextdoor to focus on building the business, improving the product, and creating long-term shareholder value.

Yesterday I wrote about NXDR closing at $2.43.

As a shareholder, I'd love to see the company deliver the kind of sustained performance that sends that number substantially higher.

I'd like to see a business return capital to shareholders through a dividend, if and when its financial position and board determine that makes sense.

That's a much more interesting use of corporate energy than this 107-day saga.

Leadership Includes Taking Some Heat

I don't think a CEO needs to respond personally to every critic on social media.

That's unrealistic.

I also don't think blocking someone proves their criticism is correct.

It doesn't.

Leaders of public-facing companies should expect scrutiny.

Especially when they're highly visible themselves.

Especially when they're talking publicly about community, connection, listening, and the “power of we.”

Sometimes leadership means standing behind the product and the rhetoric when somebody says:

“Okay. I have some questions.”

And sometimes those questions aren't flattering.

I don't prefer Nirav to have “thicker skin” because I have no insight into how he personally feels. I don't.

My point is about the leadership behavior I'd prefer to see:

Engage with difficult questions.

Delegate them to someone who will.

Answer them.

Disagree with them.

Explain why they're wrong.

Or say, “We're not providing that information.”

Any of those outcomes would be more interesting than another block button.

So, Nirav, You Got Me

Blocked for the second time.

I laughed when I saw it.

Then I took a screenshot.

And now, naturally, I'm writing about it.

Because after everything I've documented, this has become part of the case study too.

Day 107.

The detailed research question remains.

The Executive Team has my latest email.

And Nirav Tolia has blocked me on X.

Again.

I'm still here.

👉 NielFlamm.com/blog

The Facebook Experiment Continues: Amy Messaged Me, and Now I Have More Questions

Well, that didn't take long.

In my last update, I shared that I finally accepted the mysterious friend request from Amy Ford on Facebook.

I didn't know Amy. We had one mutual friend. Her profile caught my attention for several reasons, including a rather impressive collection of jobs. Still, none of that proved anything was wrong with the account.

So curiosity won.

I accepted.

And shortly afterward, Amy messaged me.

“I Added You Out of Curiosity”

Amy opened with:

“Hello, Niel. I'm glad we have established a connection here.”

I asked the obvious question:

“Hello, Amy, have we met?”

Nope.

She said Facebook recommended me and that she added me “out of curiosity.”

That made me laugh because curiosity was exactly why I accepted her.

I told her:

“I accepted out of curiosity.”

Her response?

“I sent the friend request just out of curiosity, hahaha.”

Well, there we go.

Two strangers brought together by the powerful matchmaking algorithm of The Facebook—and apparently mutual curiosity.

What could go wrong?

Then Came the Questions

Amy asked where I was from.

I told her I was originally from New York and mentioned that I saw she was from Korea.

She explained that she's originally from Seoul, South Korea, has lived in New York for five years, and then asked whether I still lived in New York.

I said I didn't.

She asked where I live now.

I didn't answer.

Instead, I asked what brought her to New York.

According to Amy, she moved there after leaving a failed marriage because New York offered better career opportunities.

I asked how long she had been married and what she did for work.

She said the marriage lasted three years and told me:

“I work in real estate and run a TikTok agent shop.”

Now I had another question.

What's a TikTok Agent Shop?

Remember, her Facebook profile already showed several professional roles, including investor, real estate business owner, and an HR-related position.

Now I had a TikTok agent shop to add to the résumé.

So I asked what a TikTok agent shop does.

Her explanation was:

“You can understand it as providing goods specifically for retailers to make profits.”

Okay.

I still don’t entirely understand it.

Then the conversation turned back toward me.

She asked what I do for work.

I told her:

“I'm currently not working, kinda retired early.”

Her response caught my attention:

“Alright, you've got an enviable life ahead of schedule.”

Then she asked again:

“Do you still live in New York?”

I answered:

“I do not.”

And that was it.

No location.

Amy joked that my location was apparently a secret.

For now, it is.

Then the Conversation Took an Unexpected Turn

Amy said she had enjoyed talking with me but needed to get ready for some work meetings. We exchanged pleasantries, and the conversation ended.

Or so I thought.

Later that night, at 10:17 p.m., another message arrived:

“Are you a person with a disability?”

That's certainly a conversation starter.

I answered:

“Several.”

She asked what challenges I deal with.

I told her about my amputation and kidney failure.

And that's where the screenshots currently leave us.

So, Is This a Scam?

I still don't know.

And I think that's important to say.

Nothing in this conversation proves that Amy is running a scam or that the person behind the account isn't who they claim to be.

At the same time, I'm paying attention.

An unsolicited friend request from a stranger.

Very few Facebook friends.

Several different professional descriptions.

Questions about where I live.

Questions about my employment.

A business involving retailers making profits.

And now questions about my disabilities.

Each one can have a perfectly innocent explanation.

Taken together, they're enough for me to continue being cautious.

I'm Also Curious About Where This Goes

This has become a little social-media experiment for me.

I'm not sending money.

I'm not providing financial information.

I'm not sharing passwords or account information.

I'm not clicking mystery links.

And I'm not rushing to provide personal details simply because someone asks.

I'm having a conversation.

If Amy is simply a friendly person in New York who found my profile through Facebook recommendations, that may be all this ever is.

If the conversation eventually turns into:

“Niel, have you ever considered cryptocurrency?”

Well...

I may have another blog post to write.

For now, The Facebook Experiment continues.

And I have a feeling this story isn't finished yet.

Life Beyond Cloud Nine: Yes, the Puppies Poop on the Clean Floor, Too

If you’re looking for a blog where every day is sunshine, every vacation is flawless, and every family gathering looks like a greeting card, you may have taken a wrong turn.

My blog, social media posts, and videos are a very unfiltered version of life. Sometimes I’m on cloud nine. Sometimes I’m trying to figure out how to get my popcorn and soda to my movie theater seat.

Both belong in the story.

For at least ten years, LinkedIn was about the extent of my social media presence. And even there, I didn’t post. I had either deleted Facebook or stopped engaging with it. I wasn’t on the newer platforms the kids were using—the TikTok, the Instagram, the Snapchat, and whatever else I was supposed to be downloading.

I stepped away because comparing my life to everybody else’s was doing a number on me.

Everywhere I looked, people seemed to be living exceptional lives. Amazing vacations. Awesome careers. Luxurious homes. Happy marriages. Families that weren’t toxic.

Meanwhile, I looked at my own life and wondered why mine didn’t look like that. The comparison drove me crazy. I felt depressed and anxious, and scrolling gave me more reasons to feel like I was falling behind.

So I stopped.

For a long time, I needed to stay away.

Then Laura, my physical therapist at MUSC, suggested that sharing my experience could give other amputees hope. Maybe someone trying to figure out their own life after an amputation could find something useful in mine.

That gave me a reason to come back.

I had no clue then that God would give me the strength to battle end-stage renal disease, failing eyes, and more. I came back to share my experience as an amputee, and life kept giving me more to write about.

My faith is part of that story. So are the hard days. Having faith doesn’t mean I suddenly have a perfect life to show off. It means I can tell you where I find strength while I’m living through it.

I write and post because I want life to feel relatable. I want someone to read something I share and think, “Okay. Somebody else gets it.”

And yes, I have some awesome experiences.

I go on cruises while continuing my search for a future ex-wife to share them with. Apparently, romance is alive and well, and my marketing strategy needs work.

I watch a bunch of movies. I also ask for help getting my popcorn and soda to my seat. That little detail belongs in the story just as much as whether the movie was any good.

There is enjoyment in my life. There is also illness, uncertainty, and the practical business of needing a hand sometimes. I can have a wonderful experience without everything else suddenly being wonderful.

That’s what you’ll find here.

If you’re tired of reading about how perfect everyone else’s life appears to be, follow along. Share my page with someone who could use a little hope, a laugh, or the comfort of knowing they aren’t the only one figuring things out.

I’ll keep sharing the cruises, the movies, the struggles, the faith, and whatever happens with that future ex-wife search.

Life isn’t all unicorns, puppies, and kittens that don’t poop on the floor.

Yes, they poop on a clean floor, too.