Mom Needed a Bathroom. We Needed a Solution.

My mother is now in a skilled nursing facility. She had a stroke at the end of June 2026 and a second one about three weeks ago. This is her fourth hospital or medical facility in the last three months.

That is a lot of moving, adjusting, and starting over. I get it. I’ve been there.

Part of the longer-term plan involves her wish not to return home once she gets back to where she was before the second stroke. That is a story for another time.

Today’s story is about something much more immediate: Mom needed to use the bathroom.

She arrived at the facility this afternoon, and her evaluations weren’t complete yet. Because physical therapy hadn’t evaluated her, there was uncertainty about how she could safely get to the bathroom—or whether she could get there at all.

I understood the concern. Nobody wanted her to fall or get hurt.

But her need to go wouldn’t wait for an evaluation.

I heard the explanation from three different people, delivered almost the same way each time. What I didn’t hear was a solution.

Mom and I asked for a bedpan.

We were told the facility doesn’t use bedpans.

Okay. So what do we do now?

This was also the point when I started feeling increasingly confident about my decision not to pursue a career in healthcare. As I wrote recently, patience is not one of my strengths. Hearing the same explanation repeatedly while my mother still needed help was putting that to the test.

I asked again: We need to find a solution. She can’t simply not go.

Eventually, someone made the executive decision to find a bedpan. I assume someone dug it out of the nonexistent basement.

Crisis averted.

I appreciate the need for evaluations and safe procedures. I also appreciate the person who finally found a way to help. But there needs to be an answer for what happens while a new resident is waiting for those evaluations.

From our side of the conversation, we had a basic, immediate need and several explanations of why it was complicated.

What would have helped was hearing: “We haven’t assessed her mobility yet. Here is how we can help her safely in the meantime.”

That would have given Mom some reassurance and both of us a plan.

Today, we eventually got there. It just took three explanations and a supposedly unavailable bedpan.