A Mystery Friend Request on The Facebook: Friend Her or Hit Delete?
A few days ago, I received a friend request on The Facebook.
Yes, I’m calling it The Facebook.
The request came from Amy Ford.
My immediate reaction was pretty simple:
Who is Amy Ford?
I have absolutely no clue.
Then the second thought kicked in:
Who would randomly want to be friends with me?
And that's when a little insecurity started creeping in. I'm old. My kidneys are failing. I have one fully intact leg. My eyes aren't exactly operating at 4K resolution. I'm a little chubby.
Yet here comes this attractive stranger wanting to be my friend on The Facebook.
Okay.
What could go wrong?
One Mutual Friend
Before immediately hitting delete, I looked at the profile.
We have one mutual friend.
One.
That's enough to make me curious, but certainly not enough to make me think, Oh, of course! Amy!
Her profile says she's in New York and references Korea, along with the University of Leeds. Her bio says:
“Hi everyone! I’m a somewhat well-known beauty from Korea, LOL.”
That's an interesting introduction.
And yes, the name Amy Ford initially caught my attention, along with the Korean references. Of course, someone from Korea can have an English or Western name, so the name by itself proves absolutely nothing.
But combined with everything else?
My curiosity started winning.
So I Started Digging
I looked through her public posts.
There are posts about New York.
Central Park.
Ballet.
A Cybertruck driving through Manhattan.
Porto Rico Importing Co. in Greenwich Village.
New York Fashion Week.
Plenty of photographs, locations, and little slices of New York life.
At first glance, it looks like someone documenting life in the city.
But then I started looking at the profile as a whole.
The account shows 16 followers and 33 following.
We share only that one mutual connection.
There are highly polished profile and cover images featuring the same woman, including a collage labeled “NEW YORK,” “BEAUTIFUL LIFE,” “SOYEON,” and “SEOUL, KOREA.”
Then there's the University of Leeds reference.
Maybe every bit of it is legitimate.
Maybe Amy is exactly who the profile says she is.
Or maybe this will become another chapter in my growing collection of strange things people send me online.
I don't know.
And that's precisely why I haven't hit Confirm.
I've Seen This Movie Before
After documenting recruiter scams, suspicious social media accounts, fake car sellers, PayPal scams, Geek Squad scams, mystery invoices, and the other nonsense that seems to find its way to me, I've learned something:
Curiosity is powerful.
It's also exactly what questionable accounts can rely on.
The temptation is obvious.
Accept the request.
Don't volunteer any personal information.
Don't click anything.
Don't send money.
And see what happens.
Will “Amy” send a perfectly normal message?
Will she never contact me at all?
Will we suddenly move from Hello to cryptocurrency investing in 14 minutes?
Will an uncle show up with an incredible investment opportunity?
Will WhatsApp or Telegram show up?
Maybe none of that happens.
That's what makes this interesting.
So I'm Putting It to You
I'm genuinely undecided.
There isn't enough here for me to declare that the person behind this account is a scammer. A profile that looks unusual to me isn't proof of anything, and neither is someone's name, appearance, nationality, school, number of friends, or posting style.
But there are enough things that don't immediately add up for me that I'm hesitant to click Confirm.
So, readers, I'm handing you the mouse.
What should I do?
👍 Accept the friend request and see what happens?
🗑️ Delete it and move along?
And more importantly: What do you look for when a stranger sends you a friend request on The Facebook?
I have a feeling the comments on this one could be more entertaining than the friend request.
Day 103: I Expanded the Email List. The Board Emails Didn’t Cooperate.
Day 103.
Today, I sent another email to Nextdoor.
After 103 days, I decided to expand the audience.
I put the Nextdoor Executive Team in the “To” field, along with the people who have already been part of this conversation.
I also attempted to include members of the Nextdoor Board of Directors in the CC field.
There was just one problem.
Apparently, my attempt at figuring out the board members' Nextdoor email addresses wasn't particularly successful. 😂
The Board Emails Bounced
I tried the fairly obvious formula: first name@nextdoor.com.
No such luck.
I received failed-delivery notices for the addresses I attempted for:
Michael Kiernan, Jason Pressman, Tony Castellanos, Niraj Shah, Chris Varelas, Elisa Steele, David Sze, and Bill Gurley.
I don’t have confirmation that the board members received today's email.
They apparently didn't.
I’ll research whether there are publicly available professional contact addresses through the companies or organizations they represent.
Interestingly, I haven't received bounce-back notices for the Executive Team addresses included in the “To” field so far. That doesn't prove anyone personally read the email, but at least I haven't received a delivery-failure notification.
What Did I Ask This Time?
The email itself is published in full on this blog, but the short version is remarkably simple.
I acknowledged that Nextdoor Communications did respond to me. I want to be fair and accurate.
The problem is that what I received wasn't the complete report or detailed data described in the original Nextdoor Insights posts.
So I asked again.
Send the complete reports.
Please let me know if they aren't available for distribution.
Tell me what restrictions or requirements apply.
Could you tell me who at Nextdoor is responsible for providing them?
Any of those answers creates closure.
That's really it.
This Shouldn't Require 103 Days
That's what continues to fascinate me about this entire experience.
The request hasn't become more complicated.
The distribution list has.
This started as a request for research referenced as available and has now moved through Communications, members of the Executive Team, and—once I have the working contact information—potentially the Board.
I'm not trying to make it look like people received something when they didn't.
That's why I'm publishing the bounce-backs too.
Transparency works both ways.
If Nextdoor responds, I'll say it responded.
If the response doesn't contain what I requested, I'll say that too.
If my emails to the Board don't work, I'll tell you that.
And if tomorrow Nextdoor sends me the complete reports—or says, “Niel, we're not giving them to you”—I'll publish that, too.
At least we'd finally have an answer.
For now:
Day 103.
The Executive Team email appears to have gone through.
My first attempt at reaching the Board?
Not so much. 😂
The full email I sent is included below,
👉 NielFlamm.com/blog
Sunshine, Pudding, and Why I Choose an Aisle Seat
Mom and I spent some time outside the facility today. Mid-70s, sunshine, clear skies, and a nice breeze.
It was the kind of weather I wish I could order ahead of time.
We stayed out until Mom had enough and wanted to go back inside. I gathered my things and rolled her in. She needs a lift to get into bed, so we spent a little time in the hallway while waiting.
I noticed lunch on her table and asked whether she wanted to try it.
It looked like a chicken ranch wrap. Visually, it wasn’t making a strong case for itself.
Mom tried it and said it was terrible.
Her words. I had only done a preliminary visual inspection.
The vanilla pudding, however, disappeared in about ten seconds. The small cup of cut-up cucumber also went, along with her sweet tea.
So there were some successes on the tray. The wrap may want to request a transfer.
I’ve been asking assisted living facilities about food tastings, and moments like this explain why. Mom says she doesn’t eat much, but apparently vanilla pudding doesn’t need to be told twice.
Meanwhile, there was activity on the roommate side of the room.
Mom has the bed closest to the door. Her roommate had gone out to lunch with a friend. Then she came back in.
Then she went back out.
Then she came back in.
Then she went back out.
I was starting to feel as though we were sitting beside the entrance to a department store.
And I thought to myself: Self, this is exactly why you choose an aisle seat.
When I fly, I know I’ll probably need to get up at least once to use the bathroom. I don’t want to bother the person in the aisle, and heaven forbid I have to involve the person in the middle seat. That person has already suffered enough.
So I book the aisle. I plan for my own traffic.
Watching people come and go, I briefly wondered whether airplane seating etiquette could apply to shared rooms. Frequent departures? Let’s get you closer to the exit.
Of course, nobody was actually climbing over us. She was going about her day in her own room, and she had every right to do so.
My brain had simply decided to turn a perfectly ordinary afternoon into a seating-assignment consultation. Apparently, I’m available to reorganize a floor plan nobody asked me to review.
I remember shared rooms from my own time in skilled nursing. Two people’s schedules, visitors, meals, and routines happen in one space. Sometimes one person is ready to settle down while the other still has places to go.
Today, Mom was ready to settle down.
We’d had some sunshine, a little fresh air, and a lunch with a very clear winner.
I still want the aisle seat.
Mom can have the pudding.
33 Days to Go: Buying Peace, Quiet, and Sparkling Water
The cruise countdown now says 33 days to go.
On October 29, I’ll board Radiance of the Seas for four nights in the Western Caribbean. Between now and then, I need to finalize a few important details.
How am I getting to Tampa? Undecided.
What will I be drinking with dinner? Already planned.
Some people organize transportation first. I apparently work backward from the Pellegrino.
In a few days, I’m planning to purchase two add-ons: The Key and the Refreshment Package. For the way I like to cruise, I think both are worth the money.
I’ve reached the stage of vacation planning where I’m willing to pay for fewer things to think about. My brain has requested shore leave.
The Key comes with several benefits, including:
Priority terminal access during the designated arrival window.
Carry-on bag drop-off and delivery to the cabin.
An exclusive welcome lunch in the Main Dining Room.
Fast-lane access at select onboard activities and priority ship-to-shore departure at tender ports.
Dedicated seating at shows.
VOOM internet for one device per guest with The Key.
An exclusive à la carte breakfast and choice departure on debarkation day.
There are also select dining, sports, and spa discounts, with conditions attached. Benefits vary by ship and sailing, so I’ll check the details for mine before purchasing. Royal Caribbean’s current benefits
All very nice. But what gets my attention is sitting down for lunch on embarkation day.
I want to board, take a seat, and have someone hand me a menu. I do not want to begin my vacation balancing a plate while searching for a table like I’m scouting real estate in a highly competitive market.
“Lovely location near the windows. Unfortunately, another family has already made an offer with three backpacks and a cardigan.”
The buffet has its place. I will almost certainly visit it. But on boarding day, when everyone arrives hungry and towing their belongings, I prefer a lunch that doesn’t require evasive maneuvers.
The same goes for the sit-down breakfast on debarkation day.
Leaving the ship is disappointing enough. I don’t need to combine that disappointment with a crowded buffet, luggage, and a hunt for somewhere to put my eggs.
Let me have a calm breakfast before returning to a world where nobody makes my bed or asks whether I’d like another pastry.
The internet, priority access, and other benefits are welcome extras. My main interest is starting and ending the cruise seated comfortably, with food arriving at my table.
Apparently, my idea of VIP treatment is being allowed to chew in peace.
Then there’s the Refreshment Package, which covers drinks such as fountain soda, bottled still and sparkling water, premium coffees and teas, fresh-squeezed juices, and mocktails. Royal Caribbean’s package details
My personal beverage itinerary is already taking shape: San Pellegrino at dinner, possibly lunch, Coke Zero, and a decaf Americano at breakfast and after dinner, subject to what’s available onboard.
Yes, decaf.
I want the coffee experience without lying awake at midnight mentally reorganizing my garage.
Pellegrino makes dinner feel a little more special. It’s water with bubbles and enough confidence to arrive in a nice bottle. I respect that.
And Coke Zero remains a dependable travel companion. No complicated preferences. No disagreements over excursions. Just show up cold.
What I really like about the package is being able to order an included drink without mentally adding it to a running total. I don’t want every dinner to come with a small accounting assignment.
“Would I enjoy another sparkling water?”
That should be a question about thirst, not the opening meeting of the budget committee.
For me, the value is in both the drinks and the convenience. I’m paying ahead so I can spend less time thinking about individual beverage charges and more time staring at the ocean with absolutely nothing useful happening in my head.
Meanwhile, driving versus flying remains unresolved.
The options still involve roughly seven hours in the car or a 5 a.m. flight from Charleston that reaches Tampa via Miami. One requires highway patience. The other requires being dressed and functional at an hour when even my bad decisions are usually asleep.
I can confidently select my after-dinner coffee 33 days in advance, but choosing how to reach the ship apparently requires further deliberation.
And for anyone following the other ongoing search: no future ex-wife has been announced.
The Key offers quite a few benefits, but matchmaking does not appear to be one of them.
So that’s where things stand: two add-ons planned, beverages selected, transportation pending.
I may not know how I’m getting to Tampa, but once I’m onboard, I intend to be seated, hydrated, and very difficult to hurry.
Another TikTok Car Deal — But Who Actually Has the Car?
At this point, TikTok may know my viewing habits a little too well.
Another extremely inexpensive vehicle landed in my feed. This time, it's from an account called davidcarautos, and the featured vehicle looks like a Honda Civic.
The advertisement couldn't be much simpler:
PRICE: $2,000
DOWN PAYMENT: $250
Two thousand dollars for the car, and apparently I can get started for $250.
But this video caught my attention for a reason beyond the price.
Wait—Whose Video Am I Watching?
I watched the video instead of just looking at the price.
That's when something looked odd.
The video appears to have been overlaid with new audio while the original video's audio is muted. As the camera moves around the Honda, I can see what appears to be the original person recording or speaking reflected in the car's window.
Meanwhile, the narration I'm hearing doesn't seem to match what's happening in the original footage.
The new narration makes a particularly interesting pitch: you don't have to go to a dealership to purchase a car.
That's supposed to make the transaction sound easier.
To me, it raises the opposite question:
Does the person posting this TikTok actually possess this car?
I can't establish from these screenshots alone who originally recorded the video or whether the TikTok account has permission to use it. So I'm not going to claim I've proven the footage was stolen.
But an apparently repurposed video combined with a new sales narration is absolutely something I would investigate before sending $250 to anybody.
🚗 A Real Honda in a Video Doesn't Prove the Seller Owns It
This is becoming one of the recurring lessons in my TikTok car series:
A real car doesn't automatically make the offer real.
That's especially important here.
The Honda clearly exists.
A license-plate frame is visible that appears to say Howdy Honda. There's a parking lot. A person is reflected in the vehicle.
All of that makes the video look authentic.
But those things establish the existence of a car and a video.
They don't establish that @davidcarautos owns the car, possesses the car, represents the owner, or has authority to sell it for $2,000.
That's a huge distinction.
The FTC issued a consumer warning this month specifically about scammers impersonating dealerships. It says scammers can copy legitimate dealerships' branding, vehicle listings, and photos, then collect money for cars the supposed seller doesn't actually have. The FTC recommends independently verifying the dealership and, when you can't visit the vehicle yourself, arranging an independent inspection. Consumer Advice
The FBI has also warned about fraudulent online vehicle advertisements involving cars that aren't—and sometimes never were—in the advertiser's possession. Internet Crime Complaint Center
That's why this video's altered presentation matters to me.
“You Don't Have to Go to a Dealer”
Technically, that's true.
People legitimately purchase vehicles remotely every day.
Dealerships deliver cars. Buyers purchase vehicles from other states. Documents can be signed electronically. Independent inspections can be arranged.
Remote car buying isn't inherently suspicious.
But there's a big difference between:
“You don't have to physically visit our dealership.”
and:
“You don't need to independently establish that we actually have the car.”
That second part is non-negotiable for me.
If someone wants my money for a vehicle, I want to know exactly where that vehicle is sitting.
👀 Then I Looked at the Profile
The account had approximately:
3,807 followers
10,200 likes
Its bio says:
🔥 Quality Cars. Better Deals.
💰 Buy • Sell • Trade
📍 Your next car starts here
➡️ DM us to find your ride
💬 Text Now +1 380-867-7913
Then I looked at the inventory.
Here we go again.
The Honda is advertised for:
$2,000 — $250 down
Another vehicle:
$5,000 — $400 down
A Dodge:
$6,000 — $700 down
A Chevrolet Hennessey vehicle:
$7,000 — $600 down
Another:
$3,500 — $500 down
And more vehicles appear farther down the page with similarly low asking prices and down payments.
Different cars.
Different backgrounds.
Different dealerships appearing in some of the footage.
Same account selling all of them.
That doesn't prove anything by itself.
It does make one question increasingly important:
Where are these cars actually located?
📍 The Honda Video Says Phoenix
The TikTok interface on the Honda video displays Phoenix, and the hashtags include:
#Arizona #cheapcars #usedcars #affordablecars
Meanwhile, the visible dealership plate frame appears to identify a Honda dealership.
So before sending $250, I'd want to independently identify that dealership and call it using the telephone number from its own official website, not a number supplied by the TikTok account.
Then I'd ask a remarkably simple question:
Do you have this Honda, and is @davidcarautos authorized to sell it?
That could clear up a lot very quickly.
💰 And What Does “$250 Down” Actually Mean?
We've seen this repeatedly.
A tiny down payment gets enormous visual emphasis.
$250 DOWN!
That number feels attainable.
But it tells me almost nothing about the financing.
If the vehicle's total price really is $2,000 and I'm putting $250 down, the remaining amount is $1,750 before taxes, fees, interest and other charges.
So give me the rest:
What's the APR?
What's the term?
What's the monthly payment?
Who's the lender?
What's the total amount financed?
What's the total of payments?
What fees are included?
What credit requirements apply?
Is $2,000 actually the cash purchase price, or is there another condition attached to receiving that price?
The FTC has long warned consumers that unusually low advertised prices, down payments and monthly payments can come with qualifications or additional terms that aren't obvious from the headline advertisement. Consumer Advice
The giant number gets my attention.
The contract gets my money.
I care much more about the second one.
🎥 The Video Overlay May Be the Most Interesting Part
This is what distinguishes this post from some of the others I've documented.
The video itself appears to contain evidence of two different presentations:
The original footage.
And the new narration selling the vehicle.
Maybe there's a perfectly legitimate explanation.
Maybe the account licenses videos from dealerships.
Maybe it's a broker.
Maybe it has agreements with multiple dealers.
Maybe the person who made the original footage is connected with this account.
All of those possibilities can exist.
But I shouldn't have to guess.
If you're asking me to send money, tell me:
Who recorded the original video?
Who currently owns the vehicle?
Where is it physically located?
What's the VIN?
What's the dealer's legal business name?
Can I call that business independently?
Can someone inspect the vehicle before I pay?
A legitimate transaction should survive those questions.
🚨 This Isn't a Hypothetical Type of Scam
The FTC's September 2026 warning describes consumers paying supposed online dealerships only to discover that the actual dealership has no record of the order or payment and no car waiting for them. The FTC says fraudulent sellers can clone legitimate dealership material, including vehicle listings and photos. Consumer Advice
This problem isn't limited to websites, either. FTC data released this year show that nearly 30% of people reporting a scam loss in 2025 said the scam began on social media, with reported losses totaling $2.1 billion. Federal Trade Commission
So seeing a real automobile in a TikTok video isn't where my verification process ends.
It's where it begins.
🏡 Be a Good Neighbor
Here's the person I worry about.
Someone desperately needs transportation.
Their credit isn't great.
They've been turned down elsewhere.
They see:
HONDA CIVIC
PRICE: $2,000
DOWN PAYMENT: $250
And then they hear:
You don't even have to go to the dealership.
Convenient.
Affordable.
Easy.
Exactly what they need.
That's when somebody needs to say:
“Before you send the $250, let's verify the car.”
Not ridicule them.
Not call them stupid.
Help them investigate.
Reverse-search screenshots from the video. Identify the dealership visible in the footage. Call that dealership independently. Ask for the VIN. Verify the title. Check the seller's dealer license. Compare the price with KBB and wholesale values. Arrange an independent inspection.
And most importantly:
Verify that the person asking for your money actually has the legal ability to sell you the car.
The FTC's current advice is similarly straightforward: if you're too far away to see an online vehicle yourself, ask to have a mobile inspection service examine it. If the seller won't allow that, consider walking away. Consumer Advice
The Cars Keep Changing. My Question Doesn't.
Different TikTok accounts.
Different prices.
Different down payments.
And now apparently repurposed-looking video accompanied by a new narration telling me I don't have to visit a dealership.
I don't necessarily need to visit the dealership.
But before anybody gets one dollar from me, I need something considerably more important:
Proof that you actually have the car you're trying to sell me.
Because if the seller doesn't possess the vehicle or have authority to sell it, I'm not purchasing a car remotely.
I'm just sending $250 to somebody on TikTok.
Questions or another suspicious car listing you'd like me to look at? Reach out by DM or email niel@nielflamm.com.