Thank You for the Love and Support

A huge thank you to everyone on Facebook who engaged with my post about having a heart cath on Thursday. The comments, kindness, and support meant so much to me.

I was especially surprised to see how many people joined the conversation. Nearly 63% of the people who saw the post were not followers. It’s incredible that the message reached beyond my usual community.

I’m grateful to everyone who took a moment to comment, react, or share some encouragement. Thank you for showing up for me. I'm so grateful for you all.

If you haven’t visited NielFlamm.com, stop by and follow along there, too.

Breaking Out, Losing Track of Days, and the Importance of Showing Up: Another Visit with Mom

This morning was already shaping up to be busy.

I got the car washed, ran an errand, and was preparing to head to Bluffton, South Carolina, to pick up a nephew so we could see the new Godzilla movie.

But before all of that, I had one more stop to make.

Mom.

Was Mom Trying to Escape?

As I walked into the skilled nursing facility, I spotted Mom rolling toward the entrance/exit.

My first thought?

Was she trying to escape?

I couldn't really blame her.

When I was in a skilled nursing facility back in June 2023, I wanted out as quickly as possible. I couldn't leave fast enough. There's something about being in an institutional environment, having other people control your schedule, and depending on someone else for things you once did independently that can make you want to head for the nearest exit.

So perhaps Mom and I have something in common.

When I got to her, she mentioned that I hadn't been there for a week.

Well, that's interesting!

I had actually seen her on Tuesday after dialysis.

Apparently, the days are starting to run together for her.

And I can understand how that happens.

A Few Supplies for Mom

I didn't arrive empty-handed.

I brought her a few things to keep her occupied and comfortable:

• Some magazines to read.

• Three tubes of Pringles.

• Bars of Ivory soap.

Yes, Ivory soap again!

Apparently, that's an important item on Mom's shopping list. When Mom requests something specific, I try to deliver.

After we talked for a bit, I took her outside so we could enjoy some fresh air.

We got her situated, and about five minutes later, a physical therapist appeared.

It was time for her physical therapy session.

The Hardest Working Woman Here

The physical therapist said something that caught my attention.

He described Mom as:

"The hardest working woman here."

He was excited to work with her.

That's encouraging to hear.

After everything she's been through, it's important to see her keep putting effort into rehabilitation.

Her recovery hasn't been easy, and there are still challenges with her mobility. But having someone on the rehabilitation team recognize her effort is encouraging.

It also brought back some memories of my own rehabilitation.

When I Didn't Want to Do the Work

I remember being in a skilled nursing facility myself.

Some days, I didn't particularly want to work toward a goal. In fact, I remember one day when I outright refused to participate in physical therapy.

Why?

I had developed a resentment toward the facility.

I wasn't happy with the circumstances, and that frustration carried over into my willingness to participate.

Looking back, that didn't do me any good.

The facility might not have been where I wanted to be, but refusing to work toward my recovery only hurt me.

Eventually, I had to recognize that the work I was doing wasn't for the facility, the therapists, or anyone else.

It was for me.

That's something I can relate to when I watch Mom working through her own rehabilitation.

She may not want to be there. She may want to roll toward the exit. She may have complaints about the food, the schedule, or just about everything else.

But the physical therapy is an investment in herself.

And hearing that she's working hard makes me happy.

I'll Be Back Tomorrow

Before leaving, I told Mom I'd be back tomorrow, Sunday.

It's easy to lose track of days in a place like this.

The routine becomes repetitive. Meals, medication, therapy, visitors, and waiting for the next activity. Before you know it, Tuesday feels like yesterday, and Sunday feels like another Tuesday.

I can imagine how difficult that must be.

That's one reason I try to keep visiting and letting her know when I'll be back.

Sometimes it's not about bringing something, fixing something, or having a major conversation.

Sometimes it's simply showing up.

Today, I brought magazines, Pringles, and Ivory soap. We got outside for a little while. She had physical therapy, and I heard she's working hard.

Then I headed off to Bluffton for my next adventure: a nephew, a movie, and Godzilla.

Life continues outside those facility walls.

And tomorrow, I'll be back.

Keep working, Mom. That physical therapist is excited to work with you, and I'm cheering you on, too.

NielFlamm.com Reaches 10,000 Pageviews: Advertise Free for 30 Days

Today, NielFlamm.com reached a major milestone: 10,000 pageviews in the last 30 days.

The latest traffic snapshot also shows:

• 9,400 visits, up 233% month over month

• 9,400 unique visitors, up 234%

• 10,000 pageviews, up 234%

• 95.11% bounce rate, down 3% month over month

That growth means more people are arriving at the site and more opportunities for businesses to introduce themselves to its audience.

Try advertising for free

I’m offering businesses their first 30 days of advertising on NielFlamm.com for free. It’s a chance to put your brand in front of site visitors, test a message or offer, and see whether the placement supports your marketing goals—at no upfront cost.

Advertising can help build awareness, introduce a product or service, and give potential customers a way to discover and learn more about your business. After the free 30 days, we can discuss an advertising arrangement that fits your goals and budget.

Interested in exploring it? Email niel@nielflamm.com to start the dialogue.

The Hinge Experiment: A Mexican Thanksgiving, Gratitude, and Knowing What Matters ❤️

It's late in the Eastern time zone, and Airica has officially landed in Las Vegas, Nevada, at Harry Reid International Airport.

Another trip for her, another opportunity for me to help with the travel logistics, and another chapter in The Hinge Experiment.

Before she headed out, I helped her get set up with an American Airlines AAdvantage account. The goal wasn't just to start earning miles for future travel. It was also to take advantage of benefits available to AAdvantage members, including free onboard internet on eligible flights.

Because if we're going to keep traveling, we might as well collect some miles along the way!

I'm sure we'll do more travel planning in the future. But today's story isn't really about airline miles.

It's about gratitude, understanding, and something that means a great deal to me.

An Invitation to Mexican Thanksgiving

Yesterday, I received an official invitation to Columbia, South Carolina, for a Mexican Thanksgiving celebration.

Now, that sounds pretty wonderful.

Good food, family, friends, and an opportunity to spend time with Airica and the people who are important to her.

Naturally, I accepted the invitation.

Then something occurred to me.

I might not actually be able to attend.

So I asked what time everything would be happening.

The answer was around 6:30 p.m.

And that's when I realized I had a scheduling conflict.

Some Commitments Are Bigger Than the Calendar

I've already committed to spending Thanksgiving at Low Country Palmetto Behavioral.

Why?

Because I want to give those who spend the year doing service work an opportunity to take the holiday off and spend time with their own families.

Service work is an important part of my recovery.

It's one of the ways I give back to a program and a community that has given me so much over the years.

There's something powerful about helping someone else. It gets me out of my own head, reminds me I'm part of something bigger, and gives me a chance to be useful.

I don't do it for recognition or a pat on the back.

I do it because it helps me.

Helping others helps me maintain my recovery, keeps me grounded, and allows me to contribute something positive to the world around me.

It's part of the person I want to be.

So, as much as I'd enjoy attending Mexican Thanksgiving in Colombia, I had already made a commitment.

And that commitment matters.

The Part That Really Meant Something

Here's where I want to stop and acknowledge something about Airica.

In previous relationships, a situation like this could have turned into an argument.

An invitation was extended. I accepted. Then I realized I couldn't attend because of an existing commitment.

That could easily become a disagreement about priorities, expectations, or why I couldn't rearrange my plans.

But that's not what happened here.

I explained the situation and why I needed to be at Low Country Palmetto Behavioral.

And I felt supported.

No one expected me to abandon something important to me to accommodate another plan.

That may sound like a small thing to some people, but it isn't small to me.

It's meaningful when someone understands that you have commitments outside the relationship. It's meaningful when they recognize that certain things are part of your identity and your well-being.

Airica understands that recovery service is important to me.

She understands that helping others is something I need to do, not simply something I occasionally volunteer for when I have nothing else on the calendar.

And I appreciate that.

Gratitude Is More Than Saying Thank You

During a short break between a meeting and a group business meeting, I sent Airica a gratitude text.

I wanted her to know that I appreciated her understanding.

I wanted her to know that I recognized the difference between being invited somewhere and being expected to abandon another commitment.

Most importantly, I wanted her to know that I appreciate her understanding what I need to do for my recovery.

There are plenty of things that go into getting to know someone.

You learn about their favorite foods, their families, their interests, their travel preferences, and whether they prefer a steak cooked medium or medium-well.

You learn about their sense of humor, their habits, and all the little things that make them who they are.

But you also learn how they respond when life doesn't fit neatly into the plans you've made.

Sometimes those moments tell you quite a bit.

I'm grateful that Airica recognizes the importance of my recovery and the service work that comes with it.

I'm grateful that I don't have to explain why helping others matters so much to me.

I'm also grateful I can keep doing something that helps me become a better person.

The Hinge Experiment Continues

Airica is in Las Vegas. I'm back here in South Carolina, and we're both managing our schedules and commitments.

There will be other dinners, other holidays, other trips, and plenty of opportunities to spend time together.

Mexican Thanksgiving may not work out this year, but that doesn't diminish my appreciation for the invitation.

And it certainly doesn't diminish my appreciation for Airica.

One thing I'm learning through this experience is that getting to know someone isn't just about the fun adventures, the restaurants, the road trips, or the hugs.

It's also about understanding what matters to each other.

It's about respecting commitments, supporting individual priorities, and letting each other keep being the people we are.

I don't know where this journey will lead, and I'm not going to try to predict it.

But I do know that feeling supported in something as important as my recovery means a great deal to me.

Thank you, Airica, for understanding that I need to do recovery service work. Thank you for supporting something that helps me stay grounded and be a better person in this world.

I appreciate you.

And that's something worth saying out loud.

❤️

The Day After the Heart Cath

I woke up at my usual time, 4:15 a.m., for dialysis. The effects of the Versed and fentanyl from yesterday’s heart catheterization were still with me. I felt groggy and out of it—what I describe as feeling “drunk.”

Because of the wound in my groin where the catheter was inserted, I didn’t receive heparin during dialysis. The team wanted to avoid disturbing the site or causing bleeding. I let the nurse and tech know how I was feeling. They told me I might feel less of the medication’s effects after dialysis.

That wasn’t what happened for me. I still felt the drugs afterward, so when I got home, I went to sleep.

I was so tired that my only food was a venti black iced tea and a cheese danish from Starbucks. I skipped lunch and spent the day in bed. When it was time, I got up, went out into the rain, and made it to a meeting.

As I write this, the medication has finally cleared from my system. It was a long, exhausting day, and I’m grateful to be feeling more like myself.