Day 133: Nextdoor Has Time for AI. What About Protecting Neighbor Data?

Monday. Just before noon.

It's been a slow day on Nextdoor. I missed Day 132 because there wasn't much to report. Now, four days have passed without a public response to the questions I've been raising about moderator accountability, neighbor privacy, and protecting nonpublic information.

Nirav Tolia hasn't responded to those questions either.

At this point, the silence feels routine.

Meanwhile, I checked NXDR this morning. The stock is trading around $2.37, down from $2.63 on Friday. That's a notable move, although I have no evidence connecting it to anything I've been discussing.

But the stock price isn't today's story.

Today's story is what Nextdoor chooses to talk about—and what it doesn't.

Day 133: The Questions Are Still There

My question is straightforward.

What safeguards does Nextdoor have to protect neighbors if a volunteer moderator misuses their position or accesses nonpublic information for purposes unrelated to moderation?

I'm not accusing a specific moderator of misconduct. I'm asking about the controls that should exist before something goes wrong.

Nextdoor's U.S. Member Agreement says that volunteers who have access to nonpublic information through account features must use it only in connection with their volunteer role. That's an important rule.

But a rule is only one part of a safeguard.

What limits access in the first place? How does Nextdoor monitor potential misuse? What happens when a neighbor reports that a moderator has abused their privileges? How does Nextdoor investigate complaints when the person being reported is part of the moderation system?

And what training must moderators complete to understand their responsibilities around confidentiality, conflicts of interest, and personal retaliation?

I want Nextdoor to publicly explain these protections in plain English.

Not because I know a breach has happened. I don't.

Not because I know a moderator has misused nonpublic information. I don't.

I want the company to explain how it prevents these things from happening and how it responds if they do.

AI Days: An Interesting Initiative, but Is It the Priority Neighbors Need?

Last week, Tony Castellanos, Nextdoor's head of People, highlighted the company's monthly AI Days—time set aside for employees to experiment with AI tools and explore ways to improve their work. HR Brew also covered the initiative.

Experimentation can be useful. Companies should explore tools that help employees work more effectively.

My concern isn't that Nextdoor is exploring AI.

My concern is the difference between the topics the company promotes and the practical questions users still need answered.

We hear about AI experimentation, neighborhood-level advertising intelligence and product initiatives. Those subjects may be relevant to Nextdoor's business strategy.

But where is the equally clear public explanation of how the company protects the people who make its platform valuable?

Where is the straightforward discussion of moderator access, confidentiality, accountability and safeguards against retaliation?

AI can help a company move faster. It cannot replace sound policies, effective oversight or accountability.

Nirav Tolia, What Are the Safeguards?

Nirav, I'm not asking you to respond personally to every post I publish. I'm asking Nextdoor, as a company built around verified neighbors and local relationships, to explain how it protects the information and trust those relationships depend on.

Here are the questions I'd like answered:

• Access: What nonpublic information can volunteer moderators access, and how is that access restricted?

• Monitoring: What controls detect or investigate potential misuse of moderator privileges?

• Training: Is annual refresher or compliance training mandatory for volunteer moderators? What does it cover?

• Complaints: How can neighbors report suspected moderator abuse without fear of retaliation?

• Accountability: Who reviews serious complaints when the moderator is the subject of the report?

• Transparency: Where can users read a clear explanation of these safeguards and how they're enforced?

Nextdoor's public policies provide some information about expected conduct. What I want to understand is how the company puts those expectations into practice.

Publishing the rules is important. Explaining the protections behind them is important, too.

Four Days of Silence, Another Day of Questions

I started this case study to examine the gap between Nextdoor's promise and its execution.

I'm still doing that.

I don't expect a response to every question, and I recognize that the company can't disclose every detail of its security procedures. There are legitimate reasons not to publish information that could help someone circumvent a security control.

But there's a difference between revealing sensitive technical details and explaining the principles, training, oversight, and accountability measures used to protect people.

A company can be transparent about its approach without giving bad actors a roadmap.

That's what I'm asking for.

As I write this on Monday, October 26, NXDR is down from Friday's close, and, from my perspective, my questions about moderator safeguards remain unanswered. The stock movement is one data point. The unanswered questions are a separate issue.

Nextdoor has announced that its next earnings report will come on November 5. Investors will hear about business performance, and I'm sure there will be plenty to discuss.

But I hope Nextdoor also remembers that its long-term future depends on more than revenue, engagement, and new technology.

It depends on whether neighbors can trust the platform—and whether the company can demonstrate that it takes their privacy and safety seriously.

Stop making AI the headline for a moment. Tell neighbors how you're protecting them.

That's the update I'm waiting for.

👉 Follow my continuing Nextdoor case study at NielFlamm.com/blog.

Good Times at the Dialysis Clinic

Today started like a typical Monday: up at 4:15 a.m., showered, and headed out for dialysis, which starts at 5:45.

I got hooked up to the machine, took a nap, woke up when the physician assistant came by to discuss medication, and then went back to napping. A pretty ordinary morning—until it was time to remove the needles and put on the bandages.

That’s when the clinic got lively.

First, one patient started yelling and cursing at a dialysis tech, then a nurse, and finally the clinic manager. The exchange got heated, including a few F-bombs. I don’t know what started it, but it went on for a while.

Then, about 15 minutes later, a male patient from the second shift started swearing on the phone. He isn’t usually the kindest caller. I understand he’s been bedbound for as long as I’ve been at the clinic, and I imagine that’s incredibly frustrating. Still, he has a habit of taking that frustration out on callers whose numbers he doesn’t recognize. He always answers—and this time, he definitely threw a few F-bombs.

The clinic staff looked at each other, wondering what was going on. I looked at the technician taking care of me and asked, “Is there something in the water? I can confirm it was a full moon.”

She replied, “Correct!”

Good times at the dialysis clinic.

Other Mommy: Something Is Very Wrong in This House… 👀

Some horror movies make you jump.

Others leave you wondering what you just watched.

And then there's Other Mommy.

Starring Jessica Chastain, this movie introduces a family, a child, and a presence that seems to want something more than just a little attention.

But what happens when that connection goes too far?

I caught this one after dialysis, and I had a few thoughts. The trailer certainly got my attention, but did the movie deliver what I was expecting?

Let's say a few things I wanted to see didn't quite make the cut.

And there's one particular scene from the trailer that left me asking, "Wait… why wasn't THAT in the movie?" 😳

Was this a nightmare worth experiencing on the big screen? Could Hollywood be setting us up for more? And what exactly was missing from the story?

I'm keeping the details under wraps for now. You'll have to watch my review to hear what I thought!

🎬 Ready to find out what I thought of Other Mommy?

👉 Watch my movie reviews here: https://NielFlamm.com/videos/moviereviews

Come for the creepy mystery. Stay for the good, the bad, and the stupid.

Or don't. 😉

The LinkedIn Caper: Apparently Scammers Have Never Watched Ocean's Eleven

Another day, another unsolicited message that lands in my inbox promising a mysterious job opportunity.

This time, it's supposedly from Angel Sharma, a recruiter at Murray Resources, reaching out via what looks like a LinkedIn notification email.

The message says she came across my profile, was impressed by my professional background, and is helping one of her employers identify qualified professionals for an exciting opportunity.

Remote work is available. No relocation required.

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?

There's just one small detail missing: What is the actual job?

No job title. No company name for the supposed employer. No salary range. No specific details about the opportunity.

Just a friendly introduction and an invitation to express interest.

Now, I don't know yet whether this particular message is a scam, a questionable recruiting approach, or a legitimate recruiter using a very generic opening. I'm not going to pretend I know more than the screenshot tells me.

But it got me thinking about the state of the scamming business.

Have Today's Scammers Lost Their Imagination?

I was thinking about this today: Some of these scammers don't seem to know how to run a proper grift anymore.

They want the money immediately.

Click this link. Send this payment. Pay this fee. Give me your information.

It's all very rushed.

Where's the creativity? Where's the planning? Where's the commitment to the craft?

Think about movies like Ocean's Eleven, The Italian Job, and The Town.

These movies didn't revolve around someone walking into a casino or a bank and yelling, “Hey, give me all your money!”

Well, that would have made for a very short movie.

Instead, the caper involved planning, reconnaissance, learning how the target operated, understanding security, identifying weaknesses, coordinating people, and executing a carefully developed plan.

The characters invested time before attempting the big score.

When successful, these fictional heists could bring in millions of dollars.

Meanwhile, some of today's suspicious emails can't even tell me what job they're supposedly recruiting me for.

Come on, people. At least give me a plot.

It's a Marathon, Not a 40-Yard Dash

Now, before anyone gets the wrong idea, I'm not offering scammers a consulting service. I'm making a point about how transparent and poorly constructed some of these approaches can be.

A message that promises an exciting opportunity but offers no meaningful details isn't exactly persuasive.

If you're trying to convince someone to trust you, a generic message that could have been sent to 10,000 people isn't a particularly compelling start.

And when the next step involves clicking an unexplained link, sharing personal information, or moving to another messaging platform, the warning signs become even more important.

The problem isn't that I need scammers to become more sophisticated. The problem is that I want people to recognize these tactics before they get hurt.

Still, looking at this email, I can't help but think of Hollywood's master thieves.

Danny Ocean would probably hold a team meeting, make a detailed plan, and prepare several contingencies before he ever approached the target.

This email? It barely makes it through the opening credits.

So, What Am I Going to Do?

I'm going to reply.

Yes, you read that correctly.

I'm going to respond to this message and see what happens next.

That doesn't mean I'll send money, disclose sensitive information, open suspicious attachments, or blindly follow instructions. I'll be cautious about links and requests, and I'll be paying attention to what the sender says next.

I'm curious to see whether this turns into a specific job opportunity, a request to move the conversation elsewhere, a pitch for personal information, or something completely different.

I don't know where this will lead, and that's precisely why I'm documenting the experiment.

I'll share the next installment once there's something to report.

Follow Along for the Next Chapter

Will this be a legitimate recruiting conversation? Will the opportunity become clearer? Will the plot take an unexpected turn?

I don't know yet.

But I'll find out what I can without risking my money or personal information.

If you've received similar recruiting messages, I'd love to hear about your experiences.

And to the people sending these generic messages: if you're going to approach someone with an “exciting opportunity,” at least bring a little substance to the opening scene.

Do better.

Because even a good caper takes planning—and this inbox production needs a rewrite.

Follow along here at NielFlamm.com/blog to see what happens next.

The Hinge Experiment: Meet the Family, Survive the Pumpkin Patch! 🎃❤️

After visiting Mom, I made the 120-mile trip to West Columbia, South Carolina. After about an hour and a half on Warp 1, I arrived at my destination: my invitation to Airica's nephew's birthday party.

And what an afternoon it turned out to be!

It was part birthday party, part Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?, and part, "Are you sure you want to get involved with the people who are important to me and me?"

No pressure, right? 😂

First, Let's Talk About the Family

Airica has mentioned several times that her family is out of control. All of them, including the people adopted into the family. Apparently, the tie that binds this group is thicker than blood.

I can relate.

I've chronicled my family on this blog, along with some of the dynamics I've observed and experienced over the years. Every family has its quirks, its characters, and those stories that make outsiders wonder whether somebody should call a therapist or a documentary crew.

Based on what I've seen, Airica's family isn't any crazier than mine.

They aren't wearing other people's skin. At least, as far as I know.

Nobody is praying to a pineapple named Fred who promises to transport them into the 17th dimension.

And nobody has asked me to wear a Nike tracksuit and matching shoes while drinking some mysterious juice that will put me to sleep.

So, you know, pretty normal!

I'm kidding, of course. Mostly.

The point is that families come in all shapes and sizes. Some are loud, some are quiet, some are complicated, and some have enough personalities to fill an entire streaming service. What matters is the love, the connections, and the people who show up for one another.

And I was getting the opportunity to see those connections firsthand.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

On the way to a little after-party adventure (more on that shortly), Airica and I talked about how the birthday party had gone.

Apparently, some of her family members think I'm a good guy. Others told her not to mess it up. Some couldn't quite read me.

That last group probably had the most accurate assessment.

I'm an introvert. I tend to observe what's going on around me before I jump into conversations. I'm not the guy who walks into a room and immediately becomes its entertainment director.

Give me time, and I'll open up. As I become more comfortable with people, communication gets easier, and more of my personality comes out.

It's a process.

What I appreciated was that Airica understands this about me. She knows my personality, and she doesn't seem to judge me for it or expect me to change overnight.

That's meaningful.

It's nice to have someone who understands that being quiet doesn't necessarily mean you're uncomfortable, unfriendly, or uninterested. Sometimes I'm simply taking everything in.

And when you're meeting a whole new group of people, there's a lot to take in!

I wasn't there to win a popularity contest. I was there to spend time with Airica, meet people who matter to her, and let them get to know me at their own pace.

If they need more time to figure me out, that's perfectly fine. I'm still figuring some things out myself.

Airica, the Birthday Party Hostess Extraordinaire

While all this social observation was going on, Airica was doing approximately 37 things at once.

She was jumping on a trampoline, helping her sister with the birthday party, entertaining people, and playing hostess with the mostest.

In between all that, we managed to talk, share a few moments, enjoy some cake, and eat pizza. She even brought me pizza while running around and taking care of everything.

And she checked on me several times.

"Are you okay?"

Thumbs up!

Another check-in.

Thumbs up!

I was doing fine. I promise.

I thought it was sweet that she kept checking on me, especially when she had approximately a million other things to do.

But one of the best parts of the afternoon was simply watching her.

She was comfortable, energetic, and free to be herself. She did what came naturally: connecting with her family, helping out, and enjoying the moment.

I liked seeing that side of her.

Sometimes, getting to know somebody isn't just about what they tell you. It's about observing them in their own environment, seeing how they interact with others, and appreciating what makes them who they are.

And yes, I was doing my usual observing.

Apparently, it's my superpower. That and driving long distances.

After the party, I helped clean up, using the cart the trampoline park had left for the occasion. I figured it was the least I could do after being welcomed into the festivities.

Then it was time to head to Airica's house.

She needed to drop off some children and presents, and I had brought a few things for her, too. There were roses, scratch-off tickets, and a few other responsible items.

Flowers and lottery tickets. Romance is alive and well in 2026! 😂

Wait a Minute... Did Someone Say Pumpkin Patch?

Somewhere along the way, Airica mentioned going to a pumpkin patch.

Now, I love the technology we have available today. I pulled out my phone, consulted The Google, and searched for a pumpkin patch near us.

Sure enough, one popped up about 25 minutes away.

When Airica finished putting things away, I told her I'd found one.

Neither of us had much idea what to expect.

So off we went!

When we arrived, I realized the place reminded me of Boone Hall, a local destination near home. It cost $3 per person to enter, and there were pumpkins, photo opportunities, concessions, and an obstacle course.

We were there for pumpkins.

At least, that was the official mission.

Social Media Influencers in the Making

As we walked around the property, I noticed several groups of young girls taking pictures for their social media accounts.

Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, or whatever name the kids have given their favorite platforms this week. I'm sure I just offended somebody by getting the names wrong.

Airica, meanwhile, was in her element.

She offered suggestions on poses, helped arrange the scenes, and gave the girls ideas for their pictures. She seemed comfortable connecting with them and helping them get the shots they wanted.

Watching her work with the younger crowd got us talking about a possible business idea: helping young people improve their social media presence through better pictures, posing, and presentation.

There's potentially something there.

A lot of people want to create content, but not everyone knows how to present themselves, arrange a scene, or make the most of a photo opportunity. Someone who understands those things could help them develop their own style.

And Airica was already doing it naturally.

Of course, I was watching and thinking about the possibilities. That's what happens when you spend enough years in the learning-and-development world. You can turn practically anything into a discussion about coaching, skills, and professional development.

I should probably start charging myself consulting fees.

And yes, Airica was also having the young people take pictures of her for social media.

I was invited to join her in a few pictures, too, so there would be proof that I actually went to a pumpkin patch and that she truly exists.

By now, my blog readers may be wondering whether Airica is a real person or an elaborate fictional character I invented to keep this dating experiment interesting.

I assure you, she exists!

And now there is photographic evidence. 📸

The Great Pumpkin Expedition

Now, let's talk pumpkins.

Remember, Airica is from Las Vegas, and I lived there for ten years.

A pumpkin patch in Las Vegas is a very different experience from one in the green surroundings of the East Coast.

Here on what I consider the best coast, you can find greenery, hay, open fields, and acres of space to wander around. It's a whole autumn experience.

We decided on seven medium-sized pumpkins for Airica and the kiddos.

She grabbed a wheelbarrow, while I took responsibility for protecting a prized medium-to-large pumpkin.

I was not about to let that pumpkin fall victim to a careless wheelbarrow maneuver.

We found six more pumpkins, paid for our selections, and headed toward the concessions.

I'm not sure when a pumpkin expedition became a pumpkin acquisition program, but apparently, we don't do anything halfway.

At least the pumpkins didn't require a second vehicle.

Hot Apple Cider and a 2026 Social Media Trend

After paying for our pumpkins, we went looking for hot apple cider.

We found some, along with caramel apple slices, and sat down to talk some more.

It was another opportunity to relax after the birthday party and the pumpkin hunt.

I also learned something new about social media trends.

Apparently, covering your face with a pumpkin is a thing in 2026.

Who knew?

I spent years trying to understand the internet, and now I have to learn pumpkin-based photo trends. I can't keep up.

Airica wasn't particularly impressed with the apple cider, and that's okay. She tried it. Not every food or drink will be a winner, and that's part of the adventure.

Meanwhile, someone from the pumpkin patch kept an eye on our seven prized possessions while we enjoyed our refreshments.

Seven? Wait, didn't we buy thirteen?

Let's just say there were a lot of pumpkins involved, and somebody had to make sure our autumn investment was safe.

Eventually, it was time to wrap things up. Airica yawned, and we both had things to do the next day.

So I took her home.

What Does It All Mean?

After the drive back, we spent a little more time talking and getting to know each other. Then, just like that, I was back at her house, bringing another Saturday to a close.

The next day, Airica planned to clean her home, and I had committed to attending a recovery picnic.

I wasn't sure whether we'd both be free afterward, but I wondered if I might drive to Columbia again in the future.

That's the thing about this Hinge experiment.

I don't know exactly where it's going. I'm not going to pretend I have some grand plan or that every invitation carries a hidden message.

But I am enjoying getting to know Airica.

I'm grateful for the chance to spend time with her, meet the people who matter to her, and see more of who she is when she's surrounded by family and friends.

I'm also learning that sometimes you have to let yourself be part of the experience instead of standing on the sidelines trying to analyze every detail.

Yes, I still overthink things. That won't disappear overnight.

But I'm showing up. I'm participating. I'm meeting people, sharing experiences, and trying to appreciate the moments as they happen.

And I got to see Airica doing what she loves, helping people, being herself, and living her life.

That's a pretty good Saturday.

Even if it involved thirteen pumpkins.

Even if I had to meet a whole bunch of new people.

And even if my brain is still holding meetings about what it all means.

The Hinge Experiment continues. Next up: whatever adventure comes our way. And if Airica mentions another destination, I'm checking Google before I agree to anything! 😂