My Billion-Dollar Career Is Delayed... Again 💸😂

Well...

I checked my personal Powerball and Mega Millions tickets.

The results were exactly what you'd expect.

I did not become an instant billionaire.

I'm still checking the lottery pool tickets, so there's a microscopic glimmer of hope. Somewhere between "highly unlikely" and "did I miss a number?"

The jackpots continue to climb:

🎟️ Powerball: $544 million (Monday)
🎟️ Mega Millions: $707 million (Tuesday)

That's a combined $1.251 billion waiting for someone.

I've already shared some of the practical things I'd do if I won. But after taking care of my family, helping my community, and making sure my friends were doing well, I'd have to spend a little on nonsense.

Here are three new ideas:

1. Hire a Professional Excuse Writer

Running late? Flat tire? Alien abduction? My personal excuse writer would have a believable explanation ready in under 30 seconds.

2. Open the World's First Museum of Lost TV Remotes

Every remote you've ever lost somehow ends up there. Admission is free, but finding the exit remote costs extra.

3. Start a Competitive Lawn Flamingo League

Teams would draft the finest pink plastic flamingos, complete with instant replay, referees, and commentators, treating every lawn decoration like the Super Bowl.

Completely ridiculous?

Absolutely.

That's part of the fun.

Now it's your turn...

If you won $1.251 billion, what's the first ridiculous thing you'd do?

Leave a comment on the blog. I can't wait to see your ideas—and who knows, maybe one of us will actually need them one day.

Join the discussion on NielFlamm.com.